What is Self Esteem? We have all heard of self esteem.
Now and then we've been told that it is the answer to all our problems; the problems of this fast paced, technologically advanced, rapidly changing and complex world.
It supposedly teaches us how to be happy.
People of today have shifted from the question of why you need self esteem to a rather worrying thought that you can't survive without self esteem.
For this reason we come across news paper articles, blogs, TV shows and the likes talking about how to develop self esteem.
Self esteem is said to be the answer to everything but do we know what it actually means? Is it really just self worth or does it have more depth than that? Self esteem encompasses a lot more than just believing in oneself; it deals with confidence in our own ability to think, to decide, to cope with the world and the confidence that we have a right to be happy.
Self esteem is made up of two things: self-efficacy and self respect.
So if you want to know how to be happy, the answer could lie in developing both of these.
Self- efficacy relates to our confidence in our decisions and ability to understand the world around us while self respect deals with our knowledge of our worth and whether we feel we deserve the love and respect we get.
The reason why you need self esteem is to lead a successful life.
A successful life is said to be a happy and fulfilled one.
Happiness and fulfillment are relative terms, meaning for me they mean one thing and for you another.
For a person with high self esteem personal goals are more challenging and more fulfilling; thus putting the person in a loop where he/she is self motivated and knows how to be happy.
The completion of a goal leads to a boost in esteem and that in turn leads to better, more demanding goals.
This is why you need self esteem; to be able to break free from the vicious cycle that a person of low self esteem is trapped in.
Now that it is established why you need self esteem to function properly in life we need to come to the part where we discuss how to develop self esteem or how to increase it.
You see there is no such thing as having too much self esteem; a person with high esteem levels feels good at being who they are and not at being better than others.
They are not competing with anyone rather they are trying to come up to the standards they have set for themselves.
That is truly how to be happy in every sense of the word as individuals with high self esteem do not need the approval of anyone else.
Do not confuse this with somebody that boasts, that person actually has a low self esteem causing him/her to praise themselves publicly because they are not happy with who they are inside.
There are six practices that tell us how to develop self esteem.
Firstly, being conscious: being aware of whom you are, what you're surroundings are and accepting your reality.
Only a person with low self esteem evades painful facts and pretends all is fine.
The initial step is: knowing your internal and external reality; once that is done you can start to make goals and align your life to achieve those goals.
The second practice is self-acceptance: as in being okay with who you are, what you think and what you have done.
You cannot learn from a mistake you refuse to have committed.
Then comes the part where you practice self-responsibility; this being a major step in how to develop self esteem.
Be responsible for your actions and choices.
Realize that you do have control over what you do and that you personally are responsible for your happiness.
Eliminate any dependence on another; for we ourselves know how to be happy.
This is not enough, you need to go further in your journey of how to develop self esteem by actually standing up for the choices you have made and by abiding to the set of values and morals you have set.
You can never know how to be happy by falling short in your own eyes.
You need to be able to adhere to your thoughts and convictions in public and not have to fake your way in the world.
That has severe negative consequences (think of rock stars that die of drug abuse).
If you are ready to face the world and its challenges you are ready to cope with it and have broadened your scope of self-efficacy and self-respect and in effect increased your self esteem.
Once a person practices consciousness, self-acceptance, self-responsibility and self-assertiveness it is time to bring direction and purpose to his life.
Make goals and aims for yourself and then work towards attaining them.
Goals should be in line with our capabilities and our intelligence; you can make the right goals for yourself only if you know your true self worth.
That is why a person with high self esteem makes better goals.
A productive and successful life is one where you work with self-discipline to achieve your goal.
The last factor is ensuring we have integrity; do we practice what we preach? This is where we are accountable to our own selves.
We should ask ourselves whether our behavior has been in line with our values, it is people with low self esteem that slip and make errors because they aren't assertive enough or responsible enough when it comes to their personal values.
This is one more reason why you need self esteem.
These behaviors mentioned are not only ways to develop a healthy level of esteem but they are also a manifestation of high self esteem.
Remember that we have to confront reality some day and that worldly fame or wealth does not translate to a high self esteem but all of the above factors will lead us to it.