While we are growing up, we always dream about how we are going to meet "Mr.
or Mrs.
Perfect" and live happily ever after.
However, it doesn't always happen like that-why? Is it because we do not have the confidence in ourselves to know that we do not have to settle, and that we deserve to be happy? Is it because we are afraid of ending a relationship, knowing that means you will be alone for a while? Is it because you keep hoping that it will get better, and that this is just a rough spot in your relationship? How can you tell? Here are 10 signs of a bad relationship and how you can fix it! No Exclusive Time Together--without quality time no relationship survives--create the space that enables the two of you to spend exclusive time together, so the relationship is well-nourished Snide/Sarcastic/Negative Comments--everyone wants love and acceptance.
Keep good feelings in your relationships by regularly sharing genuine, loving words, and gestures.
People remember the negative before the positive.
Research suggests that you need five positive experiences to negate one negative experience.
So make sure you give at least five good comments for every snide/sarcastic comment.
Defensiveness kills relationships--if you are showing polite interest in a conversation you are probably clinging to your own point of view and possibly becoming defensive.
Shift to a stance of wanting to learn and curiosity that will ensure success in any relationship.
Only One Person's Needs are Being Met--give and take.
Make sure there is balance between your needs and the other person's needs being met.
Learn to negotiate so that you both get what you want.
Words are Being Spoken, but No Listening is Happening--listen beyond the words.
Let the other person know how much you appreciate it when they have truly listened to you.
This will encourage you to remember to do the same for them Buried Resentments are Poisonous--if something is bothering you let the other person know, quickly but calmly.
Focus on working together to find a solution.
Your Differences are Creating Friction--celebrate Your Differences.
Differences often make for a well-rounded relationship.
Their strengths may well be your weakness and vice versa.
Find ways to love and appreciate and use their idiosyncrasies for the greater good of you both.
Punishing Another Person Rarely Works--sure you may get a short term change in behavior, but you'll never get a long term commitment to you or the relationship if you use punishment as a tool.
A better approach is to reward the behavior you like and ignore the behavior you don't want.
Broken Agreements Not Acknowledged--we all have times when we have an integrity glitch and break promises.
If you break an agreement, face it directly.
Find out what needs to be done to fix your integrity glitch and do it.
Forgetting to be Grateful--give the gift of a compliment.
A simple "great coffee" can be of great value to someone who is feeling taken for granted.
No matter what happens with your relationship, please remember that you deserve to be happy and you do not need to settle.
You want relationships to add to your life, not take away from it.