When guys find themselves asking "What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" they start thinking and reflecting on every element of their relationship, what went wrong, why and how they can fix it.
This is one of the initial stages of the breakup.
It's very painful and it ends up controlling over 80% of their thoughts.
The problem with getting an ex back is that it's extremely counter-intuitive and when you're in the emotional state of loss it really hinders your ability to think clearly.
The truth is that it's pretty close to impossible to work out the real reasons behind your breakup.
Women are very emotional creatures and sometimes they don't even know why they do the things they do.
Either way it's very counter productive to constantly analyze your relationship.
The first step in getting your ex girlfriend back is to forget about the relationship for a while.
Cut off contact with her and focus your energy on YOU and your life.
Go out with friends and have fun! Get in shape if you are not fit already.
Start setting goals for your future in terms of finance, business, hobbies etc.
I recommend you go at least one month without any contact with your ex.
Use this time to start redesigning your life and working on improving yourself.
How exactly can this get your ex back? Well it works twofold.
First of all it changes your focus.
You focus on how to make your life better instead of "What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back?".
Focusing on your improving your life will make you feel better and with this you can think more clearly and positive emotions are much more attractive! Secondly, you are focusing on your life and making it great.
This is very attractive for women.
They love men with potential and ambitions.
Often in relationships we become content.
Being content breeds complacency and being complacent kills ambition.
I remember in my relationship I was very content so much so that I neglected a lot of important areas of my life such as friends, health and finances.
There is nothing attractive about a man who has nothing going on.
You should also use this time to reflect on what you really want.
Do you really want to get back with your ex girlfriend? Or would you rather move on? Often times guys just want their ex back to heal their wounds and egos when moving is perhaps the best move for everyone.
Get clear on what you want.
If you decide you want to get your ex girlfriend back then you need to play quite a strategic game.
After 30 days of no contact she is probably missing you as much as you miss her.
When you contact her again after this period the key is to be cool, calm and confident.
Being needy and tell her how much you love her and miss her will destroy your chances completely!