Years ago Neil Sedaka sang that breaking is up hard to do and, trust me, it is no easier to do today than it was back then! Many things go in to a decision to finally break up and even after it happens there can be a lot of heartache for one or both of the people involved.
Many take months, if not years to get over someone they cared deeply about because they just don't know how to handle their emotions properly so here are a few tips on breaking up and how to handle yourself both during and after.
If your relationship does get to the point of breaking up you have to make sure that you handle things maturely.
Remember, you once cared deeply for this other person so throwing insults at them will not help matters.
They may say things in the heat of the moment that they later regret but you must keep calm and handle yourself with decency.
Not all break ups are mutually agreeable.
Keeping in mind how you want to act you should always break up face to face.
Doing it via phone or email is not really fair to the other person.
Finding a quiet environment is not a bad place to break up but, because it can be a very emotional conversation, doing it in a public place can also be a good idea as the other person may be less prone to making a scene.
You will need to judge your partner's character to assess what would be best here.
Be direct and don't beat about the bush.
Although this can create some initial hostility and anger from the other person it will be better in the long run.
In a man the anger will most likely come from his bruised ego, whereas, in a women being dumped is a very personal and emotional feeling that can bring out any number of reactions.
If you are completely upfront about why you are breaking up the other person might even make an effort to change themselves to improve their future relationships.
How would you react in a break up? It can be painful for sure.
One good thing is to look inside yourself and really decide if it is because of you.
Many times the reason for a break up is nothing more than one person growing apart from the other and, in that situation, there is very little that can be done about it so there's no point beating yourself up for months and thinking it's all your fault.
You may actually start to feel good about a break up once you have gotten over the initial shock as many relationships are really stressful and being released from that stress can bring a feeling of freedom.
It's also very important that you take some time out and get back to being yourself again before jumping straight into another relationship.
You need to make sure that you are completely over your last partner as it is unfair on anyone you start dating in the future if you are secretly (or not in some cases!) still pining for you previous love.
Eventually you will have to accept it and move on! Getting out and meeting new people as soon as possible can be a really good therapy after a break up whereas isolating yourself for long periods of time is not good for you mentally.
If you have a close friend to lean on you are lucky because being able to open up to someone about your feelings is a big part of the healing process.
Remember breaking up is probably going to happen to all of us at one time or another.
How you handle it and your life from that point forward is really up to you!