I have a great big fat question for you: do you want to save your marriage? If you answered yes, you have a long and winding road ahead of you my friend.
But, before you even begin to make this journey, you must answer this question without doubt before you end talk of divorce.
Be honest and real about your marriage.
You're talking about the rest of your life, or a very long commitment! Is this really the person you want to be with in five, ten or even fifty years? If you shutter at this thought, stop don't go any further, just head on down to the closest divorce attorney and file.
Life is just too short and spending time in an uncertain marriage is not fair to anyone involved.
Are you with me this far, good? I'm going to press on and show you the path to save your marriage.
Deciding that your marriage is worth saving is the most important decision to make.
Now you can start to do the necessary work to make it happen.
Forget all about the divorce lawyer now that you've made the commitment to stick it out and repair your relationship.
Now that you've decided divorce is out of the question, know that change is a must in the relationship.
If it's you that wants the relationship to work more than your partner, you're going to be the one making most of the changes.
That's a simple fact and yet in time those changes will bring about changes in your spouse.
Be prepared to both talk and listen more too.
Open your mind and get to know your partner all over again.
Take interest in their hobbies and ask to join them.
If you spouse is willing, look into marriage counseling to help save your marriage.
This is a good way for your partner to have a neutral party looking into their interest and point of view.
Often this allows the partner to open up more to the process of working things out.
You must be able to keep your judgments and opinions quiet at first to allow your partner to open up and commit without feeling the pressure of conflict.
There is no marriage cut from a perfect relationship, this just is not true.
Once you have the fairy tale image out of your head, you will be able to move on and do damage control and repair of the relationship.