A lot of people have gotten that anxious call from a close friend: "help me save my marriage!" This situation happens all too often and many times we don't want to get concerned. But as an outsider looking in, sometimes you have nothing to do but to help.

A third party needs to assess the relationship to see if they can help. Sometimes, it is something as simple as understanding. A compassionate shoulder to cry on is often just what is needed if the spouse is not willing to listen.

Astonishingly, being able to unload nervousness and emotions can benefit a couple in the midst of trying to repair their marriage. The limitations are not always clear in these cases, so people have to be cautious. A woman becoming too involved in a marital impasse will be seen as an intruder by her husband.

He will feel as if it is now two against one. Even if the mistakes are corrected, odds are he will never look at that friend the same way again. That is why prudence has to be of the greatest importance. It is very easy to step over the line and make more damage than was originally present. The only time -that it is a good idea to intervene- is when there is obvious evidence that he is the main cause of the conflict.

If it becomes blatantly obvious that the husband is the primary reason behind what is transpiring then a friend can be of help to the wife. However, this would never work for a man. If a female friend were to try to comfort the husband, it might emerge as if she is trying to break up the marriage.

The safest bet is for the friend to advise counseling to the couple. Bringing in an outsider without any interest in either side will help to bring stability to the situation. But even this decision needs to be cautiously considered. If a woman is the reason for the trouble in the relationship then a male counselor might be the better alternative.

If the wife has had a misdemeanor with another man, then perhaps a female counselor would be more acceptable by the husband. To sum it up if a friend asks you to "help me save my marriage", then it has to be subtly handled and in a way that will not focus spot lights on you or blame on one side more than the other.