However the way we deal with Failure and perceive it can influence the levels of success we achieve in life. Sometimes failure can act as a catalyst to spur us on to reach new heights of achievement.
First of all it's important to understand that there are two kinds of Failures or Setbacks.
1. Self-sabotaging Setbacks - this is something that happens to us mostly due to our inactions rather than our actions. It happens because we bring it on ourselves due to lack of empowering beliefs. We might feel unable to reach our goals and lacking in the ability to follow through. We might procrastinate, be reactive rather than proactive, be perfectionists, focus on unimportant pebbles rather than the big rocks in life and generally stay within our comfort zone - like mice afraid to venture in the open. We create self-fulfilling negative prophecies and then feel cheated when they actually happen to us! Self-sabotaging Setbacks are the ones we can CHOOSE to avoid going through because they are self-inflicted.
2. Insightful Setbacks - On the other hand, Insightful Setbacks can occur due to the actions we take in an intentional and willful way. We may, for example, take a risk to start a new business and the outcomes may not turn out right first time. However through the process of Insightful reflection we are able to gain awareness and understanding of what went wrong and fine tune our approaches. We use our 'frustrations' and new insights to adapt our plan, and power our action in a focused, resolute manner until we achieve success.
So which type of Setbacks do YOU let yourself experience?
- Do you look upon Failure as a catastrophic and absolutist fall from grace that will keep haunting you forever?
- Do you believe that each failure makes you a weaker person - that somehow failures and setbacks are a reflection of your intrinsic weak nature?
- Does each failure you experience make you risk a little less in life?
- Does failure dent your self-esteem and commitment to success?
It's time to make Failure your Friend!
Take a deep breath and...Switch your mind for a moment...
Have you ever looked at Failure as your best buddy? As your Coach and mentor? As a way that forges your strength through the fires of trial and experience? Do you realize that Failures and Setbacks invite you to call upon your inner strength?
Do you appreciate that no setback is everlasting?
We all know the story of Thomas Edison and how he tried a thousand times to create the light bulb until he got it right.
Just imagine that! One thousand times! - one thousand small steps which led to a groundbreaking discovery that changed the world- each failure serving as a new insight.
His comment:
''When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.''
I see a lot of people giving up just a few feet away from victory.
They prefer the mediocrity of what they know is safe and routine to the infinite possibilities of taking a decision to move forward. A decision to risk and remain committed even when things don't go well right away.
Such a pity! So many lost opportunities because that one final extra push was not carried out- simply because WILL was not fuelled by PASSION and COMMITMENT.
Do you think Abe Lincoln, Nelson Mandela, Anthony Robbins and Donald Trump were a huge success on their first attempt?
Absolutely not. They had to go through a number of setbacks in their life. But the difference of these giants and those who do not leave their mark in life is that the former CHOSE to use their challenges as Insightful Setbacks rather than submerge themselves in self-sabotaging behavior.
These people had to brave the trials that life threw at them.... and they prevailed - because they did not stop 3 feet from the finish line. They looked at failure as a learning opportunity to hone and strengthen their skills..... not their self-limiting beliefs. Because rather than asking ' Why does this always happen to me?' they chose to ask 'How can I use this challenging experience as an opportunity to grow and learn?'
How about you?
Do you say things to yourself like:
- 'I'm not good enough, I have nothing of value to offer'
- 'I have to make this perfectly'
- 'I won't risk in life because things never turn out well for me ' (self-fulfilling prophecy)
- 'Success happens for other people not me'
STOP! STOP this self-bashing!
Everyone has a Life Purpose, and you deserve to live your Dream!
You have a right to grow as a person, reach out for the sky and make mistakes in the process.
Don't fear Failure or challenges in life.
Could a beautiful photograph manifest itself unless it is processed in the gloomy recess of a Dark room?
Could a beautifully coloured glass ornament be created unless it goes through the painful throes of the smelting fire?
Are you ready to switch from Self-sabotaging Setbacks to Insightful Setbacks?
Keep One Important Truth In Your Mind.
You are NOT your Failures...
YOU decide whether your Failures will make you or break you.
So, make Failure the goalpost through which you score your Life Successes.