It is a controversial issue subject to debate. Why hurt yourself by digging into your spouse's past? But again staying in the dark about your spouse's history is not very ideal. When something directly related to the past happens in future, your ignorance will not be justifiable. This is where the big question comes; is it of benefit to dig into your spouses past? Is your spouses past important now? What are the implications of this past history to your relationship? Will it withstand the shock or it will be shaken to its very foundations? Remember every person alive today has a history to tell you included. Do not pretend to be holier than thou because you are not better in either way.
What is the necessity of unraveling old wounds. The past history of a person has its ugly side and its beautiful side. Many people focus on the ugly side and magnify it to blow it out of proportion. When sniffing into your spouse's history, consider that some incidents and occurrences are just a stage in life. As a person grows older his or her ideologies, vision, goals, aspirations and dreams change. Many people tend to rate a person with their past. It is suicidal to use your spouses past as a yardstick of his or her current status. No one is perfect and we have our own shortcomings. Everyone can do a mistake in a life and learn from it. A person can change from a bad person into a better person or vice versa. I am saying this because when a person's past is dug up, we only pay attention to the dark side. We forget the person has a good side also.
Opening classified files from your spouse's history is not healthy for the relationship. It might affect the way you feel about your partner. You had idolized your partner as a person of unquestionable integrity. You worshipped the very ground that your spouse strode on. Then your spouse's history which you were craving for starts unfolding before your eyes. Imagine the disbelief, shock, denial and anger that will engulf you. You start seeing your spouse from a very different perspective, from a different angle. You start realizing that your spouse has many sides and faces. There is a face you know and another side you do not know. The trust and goodwill you had built for all this time is adversely affected. It goes to waste. You feel your spouse is a stranger to you. Why not be prudent enough and accept your spouse as at the current value!
Do you realize that your spouse's history can destroy your marriage? It reveals what you didn't know about your spouse. The history of your spouse might rear it's ugly head and force you to run for the hills. It is a situation which can make you regret why you opened the can of worms in the first place. Some revelations are so clandestine. They will make you feel like you had been blindfolded for all this time. Why not remain in your blindfolds and grow grey waiting for the day you will meet your maker.
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