What is a Soul Mate Relationship? "When two individuals have evolved to a place where they meet on equal levels of consciousness, they feel the way the other one feels, they meet on a soul level - where each is naturally uplifted into a state of connection that requires an acknowledgement of something greater than the sum of the two separate souls and a desire to pursue life on purpose - living in light and love - together." - copyright 2000

In order to find your soul mate relationship, it's important to understand our beliefs about what a soul mate is and what a soul mate relationship would look like. What does "soul mate" mean to you? Would finding your soul mate mean living in absolute harmony and bliss for the rest of your life? Would finding your soul mate mean that you would live joyously until you simply transcended together - taking your last breath simultaneously? Or, would finding your soul mate mean that you would have a spiritual connection with your partner that would sometimes be harmonious and other times be tumultuous but would always be about growth?

In my workshops, I encounter many different beliefs about what a Soul Mate is and I find it helpful to clarify what I believe a soul-mate relationship is not in order to understand what a soul mate might be.

A soul mate is NOT a partner:

* that we will never argue with
* that unconditionally loves everything about us
* that will see us through thick or thin - no matter what we do
* that enjoys ALL of the same activities, foods, hobbies and interests that we do
* that doesn't have any baggage of their own to work through
* that doesn't have other soul mates

A few other soul mate misconceptions are that there's only one soul mate out there for you or if you've loved your soul mate and lost them, you'll never find another. Or, what if your soul mate lives in New Guinea and you live in New Jersey - you'll never find each other. Another misconception is that all soul mates are romantic relationships. In truth, if you are open to receive your soul mate - no continental divide or asteroid shower will keep you apart! Additionally, there are a multitude of soul mates for you and you may even have one form of soul mate relationship already and just not know it - they could be your father, mother, child, neighbor or even your adversary.

It's also very important to clarify that a soul mate relationship is NOT going to be a relationship without challenge. In Neale Donald Walsh's children's book, The Little Soul and The Sun, the little soul wants to come back with the most noble purpose possible and asks the Sun what that might be. To paraphrase, the Sun says, "To be forgiving" is the greatest gift you can give." The little soul then ecstatically celebrates - "Yeah, I get to be forgiving, I get to be forgiving - but wait, who am I going to forgive?" Another soul steps up shyly and with trepidation and says, "I'll be the one you have to forgive, but please remember who I am and that you've asked me to do this."

A soul mate relationship can bring us the most wonderful of joys and personal growth if we are willing to be grateful for having found our soul mate and honor it for all that it is.

Now, having identified what a soul mate is NOT, it's important for you to say aloud what a soul mate means to you so that you can begin telling the powers that be - what you mean by "I want to find my soul mate!" So, what do you want?

If what you are wanting is to FIND your SOUL MATE then there are mental and physical steps that you can begin taking right now to achieve this goal. There are also many ways of calculating your soul mate compatibility with ancient sciences such as numerology, astrology, Tarot, the Chinese calendar etc. and you may find many of these tools interesting, enlightening and useful.

Here are a few quick tips for attracting your soul mate into your life and preparing the space for that relationship:

1) Get Active: Set yourself a goal of meeting at least 2 potential soul mates every week. Choose to be actively seeking your soul mate by living a full life filled with activities that you love that put you in the right place at the right time to meet your Divine Life Partner.

If you are not currently volunteering - then find somewhere to donate your time and talents. If you love to play tennis but haven't picked up a racket in years - take some lessons and join a club immediately. If you love to ski but don't have a snow-bunny to go with - then go by yourself or with an activities group. If you are not currently meeting enough potential prospects - then try online dating, now! Don't wait - there are thousands of potential mates just waiting for you, online right now. If you're shy or cyber-weary read Cyberdating: The Complete Guide To Meeting And Dating Online.

2) Find support: If you are beginning to be known as the professionally single bachelor or if you are fearful of becoming the only spinster in your family, then by all means find a master-mind group that you can join for support, join your churches single's group or if you're really serious - hire a relationship coach.

3) Become your ideal self: Lover, heal thy own baggage! If you want a soul mate relationship that is gloriously fabulous - then you have to work on your own baggage until you ARE a gloriously fabulous soul mate. I do not believe a soul mate relationship will be void of opportunities for growth (i.e. challenges, struggles, negative aspects, compromises to make, areas for improvement) however, it is possible to minimize the magnitude of these challenges.

By becoming a fully integrated person who has done his/her own work, you will be at a higher level of personal evolution and therefore, will attract a soul mate that is compatible to your higher state. Which means, if you are still angry at your ex-lover, then forgive them - now. If you are insecure because you are 20 pounds heavier than you want to be - then either accept and love yourself 100% as you are - or choose to lose/gain the weight now. If you wish you were more successful or more financially secure - then again choose to accept and honor yourself as you stand today, knowing that your soul mate loves you for who you are not for what you've done - or take action until you can accept yourself 100%.

A soul mate will merely reflect back to us the very essence of how we feel about ourselves, therefore if you are desiring a loving, nurturing, honoring relationship with your ideal life partner and soul mate -- then start by loving, nurturing and honoring yourself today.