It's hard to keep a tight lid on your every move when you've just been broken up with, but this is a time when making the wrong choices can mean disaster if you intend to get your ex back and rebuild a life with him or her. Keep a watch out for these common mistakes, and avoid them as much as possible!

1) Not enough distance between you. I know it seems like your only shot at getting him back is to be there for him and hope he comes to his senses, but that's a plan based on nothing but wishes. The truth is that it's actually more beneficial to let him go for a while and force him to live life without you there...often he'll find that it's not what he thought it would be, and even if not there are still other benefits.

2) Turning to alcohol or drugs as a temporary fix for your breakup pain. Besides being unhealthy, doing this can have a lot of nasty effects on your chances of getting him back. Lowered inhibitions when you're incredibly depressed and lonely isn't a good thing, and often leads to "drunk dialing," when you make a complete fool of yourself by calling him up early in the AM, drunk, desperate, and talkative. Seek out ways of coping with your sadness that don't cause you physical harm or emotional humiliation. Starting a physical exercise program is one constructive choice I recommend to everyone, as being active and healthy makes you feel better both physically and emotionally.

3) Attacking your ex with a wave of attention. Desperation Mode is unbecoming of anyone, and when it results in what I like to call "text-message terrorism," it's flat-out irritating. Sending message after message and call after call is NOT the way to show your ex that you care...it's how you'd approach the task of making yourself look as desperate, clingy, and mildly insane as possible. Give him some space, there are plenty of other, less humiliating ways to make him come around.

4) Making the attempt to get him back without organizing any kind of strategy or plan. This is the one above all others that I see the most often...people trusting their instincts to deal with a problem whose solution usually defies standard logic. This is a tricky situation, and emotional people aren't necessarily rational and must be dealt with properly. Having a proven plan to back you up and help you know what to do is far more advised than just "winging it."

So where do you find a plan like that? Have a look at The Magic of Making Up. It's helped hundreds to get their exes back