The ex-spouse.
What just popped in your head when you read that? I doubt images of sugar plums! If you've got children together, you're going to need to do everything in your power to try to have at minimum a civil relationship with your ex so you can co-parent effectively.
I know that may sound like a tall order, but let's focus on the very first step.
Acknowledge that it's uncomfortable You have a history with this person.
Some of those memories are good, but probably the most recent ones are not.
You may still be wrestling with a lot of negative emotions about this person.
All of these factors make the situation uncomfortable.
But - you're still going to have to interact whether that be on the phone, email or in person.
So start off by giving yourself permission to be uncomfortable being around or communicating with your ex-spouse.
It doesn't matter whether this is said just to yourself or aloud to your ex.
Sometimes stating the obvious out loud puts everyone a little more at ease.
You know your ex-spouse and you know if they will react positively or negatively to you verbalizing this out loud.
The point is to recognize it so you won't be surprised by the awkwardness.
Armed with that knowledge you can prepare yourself better for when you need to have contact with your ex.
It will also help you figure out which method of communication will work best for you.
Shortly after the divorce, face to face communication may be too difficult so email or phone may be a better option.
Over time, the discomfort may ease up and face to face conversation may be easier.