The healing from hurt starts with an effort to release the cause of the pain. So long as the individual continues to hold on to that hurt, it would continue eating deeper and deeper, making it difficult for the individual to be healed from that emotional hurt.

This is exactly what happens in marriage. We see folks who are facing serious marital issues. A lot of them caused by what a lot of people regard as the toughest problem that can come in a marriage. This challenge is infidelity. It's many times seemingly impossible for somebody to experience healing from infidelity. There's no truth in this.

Lot's of people find this process of healing difficult because they first have to forgive their partner before the healing process can commence. This leads us to a highly important issue. How can I forgive my spouse for such a thing?

Anybody who tells you that forgiving a grievous emotional hurt like infidelity is easy doesn't know what they are saying. This is a really hard process. It is critical that you bear in mind that I called it a process and not an occurrence. You don't expect forgiveness to happen over night. You can decide to forgive the act. Having done that, you would need time for the actual forgiveness to fully mature.

One thing that makes folks struggle a lot with forgiveness is the problem of confusing forgiveness with forgetting. The only way you can forget is if you suffer from some kind of amnesia. Unless this is the case, it's a memory you would always live with. When you forgive, it would be a memory and only that. How does one do this?

Your first duty is to make the decision to forgive. Sincerely, you cannot choose to forgive until you have come to terms with what happened. This is really important if you would go on to the next stage.

Now, it is time to start to work at fixing your marriage. This is necessary because what happened destroyed most of the trust you had in your spouse. No marriage can thrive without trust. Trust must be restored into the marriage. A lot of the job would however be done by the guilty spouse. The victim on the other hand, has to be ready to allow the partner regain their trust. Without passing through the initial process of coming to terms and choosing to forgive, the victim may find it hard to receive the spouse's effort at winning back their trust.

Continuing in the process of rebuilding, communication has to be re-established. It is the restoration of communication that would allow both spouse talk about what has happened, express their pain and repentance. If you do not feel the remorse and repentance, you cannot go on with the process and would therefore not forgive.

There is no need to stress the importance of communication. Many cases of emotional affair began as a result of bad communication between couples. You can be healed if you simply take it one step at a time.