DIVIDING UP YOUR BELONGINGS - WHAT TO TAKE? It can be complicated deciding how to divide your possessions between you and your ex, but it is an important conversation that you both must have.
There are three ways this can be done: - You and your ex decide yourselves how to divide your belongings without involving the court - You can use a solicitor/mediator to apply for a consent order in court to formalise your agreement - If a decision cannot be made amongst yourselves, you can apply for a financial order in court Deciding to split up your belongings yourselves comes at no charge so this is usually the preferred option! Generally if you are unmarried and purchased your belongings yourself, you are still the rightful owner following a split.
Your ex does not have rights to what you have purchased.
However if you and your ex made purchases together, you are both entitled to a share based on the amount that you each contributed.
A good starting point will be to decide what you both actually need.
Try and be flexible if you can when negotiating with each other.
If one person paid more for one item then perhaps they should keep it, otherwise a payout could be offered to purchase the item back.
Decide whether an item is really worth the fight.
If a possession has sentimental value then you need to discuss this.
Remember, these issues can quickly escalate if you allow things to become petty.
Always consider what possessions are going to be worth the stress and what can be easily replaced.
If things get really complicated, you may need to seek outside help from a mediator or solicitor.
Mediators are independent negotiators who will try to get an agreement by working with both you and your ex.
A solicitor will assist you to reach an agreement and try to get the courts to confirm the arrangement for you.
If you and your ex were married it may be necessary to involve the courts to settle any financial disputes you have.
The courts ultimate decision will be based on a number of factors such as: - What each party owns and owes - Both your financial contributions to the marriage based on your salary - Outside financial contributions such as inheritances from families - Non-financial contributions to the marriage, how you care for your children etc - Both parties future requirements - your age, health and various other factors that may affect your ability to earn and care for your children Each case is unique and completely dependent on individual circumstances.
Pets There are some things that money cannot replace - like a beloved pet you both own.
Who gets to keep "Shadow" the dog? Reaching a mutual decision can be tough but try and settle things rationally.
You must decide what is ultimately best for your animal.
Many pets are often viewed in the same light as children in a relationship.
They become your baby that you look after and revolve your life around.
Just as people do with children during a break-up, many pet owners seek joint custody with their pets.
Although it can be costly and complicated, it could be the best option for you both so you each remain in their lives.
Perhaps if you share more than one pet you could think about splitting them up.
You could be more attached to one animal and your partner another so it may make sense they keep the cat and you keep the dog.
So long as your animals won't be traumatised, separating them may be a good option.
You need to realise which of you is going to be more suited to looking after your pet.
Whose lifestyle is more suitable to care for them? Will you honestly have the time and money to focus on them yourself? You can always set up a visitation schedule so that if one of you keeps the pet the other can still see them or help out when they can.
Try to keep your arrangement on good terms by communicating anything unusual or new you notice from your time together with your pet - remember you both have your pets best interest at heart.