It was the right height and width.
The drawers slid open effortlessly.
Everything about it was perfect, except for one small thing.
It was the wrong color.
As hard as I tried to "make" the color work the file cabinet that I wanted, and felt I desperately needed, was the wrong color.
I was tempted to buy it anyway.
I lingered in the store for a long time wishing that if I looked again somehow the cabinet would have become the right color, or that I could do something to make it work.
But, I knew this temptation to buy the file cabinet was a decision that would never pay off.
I knew that I might use the file cabinet, but it would always be slightly irritating to me, or I would have to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to make it fit in.
I knew it never would be exactly what I wanted and someday I would get rid of it and start again.
We didn't buy it.
Later that day a client described to us the man she was dating.
He was almost perfect.
Everything about him was just what she wanted everything except for that "one thing" that didn't fit at all into the kind of life she was designing for herself.
She knew he had a problem.
But, she was having trouble walking away.
After all, he was perfect except for that "one thing.
" She was lingering in the "store" hoping that it wasn't true, or that perhaps it would be worth taking the time to help him change.
It's the prod or the carrot that keeps us in the store tempting us to make a choice that we know is not the right one.
We are prodded by the fear that we will never have what we really want, and perhaps we don't deserve it anyway.
The prod of fear attempts to convince us that if we miss this opportunity another will never come again.
If the prod doesn't work then there is always the carrot of possibilities.
We move forward, the carrot dangling before us, thinking that just perhaps it will work, perhaps we can control the situation, and imaging how it "could be.
" Many of us have been addicted to the carrot of possibilities, the carrot of "if only.
" But, we need to know that both the prod and the carrot is a trick.
At best they waste our time.
In the worst situations they can destroy lives.
Both the carrot and prod are born from the worldview perception of not enough, at least not enough for us personally.
Others have it, but we don't and we want it.
We deserve it after all.
This point of view allows the prod and the carrot to rule our lives and to thrive in the world.
Once I wanted a new couch.
I had the qualities in mind of the perfect couch for my living room.
I couldn't find a couch that completely matched the qualities; so I got rid of the couch I had and sat on the floor for years.
Getting the "perfect couch" became a symbol of not settling for what wouldn't be the perfect qualities for my life.
It was a new experience for me, but it felt great.
Choosing to not settle for the wrong couch helped me later when a companion presented himself to me with many qualities that appeared to be just right.
Except for those few "small things.
" This time I knew the value of saying "no" so I sat without a companion for years too.
But I wasn't lacking anything that I needed.
At the same time I had all that a couch represented to me.
I was comfortable in my home and on my floor.
I also had all the companionship I needed.
I felt loved and protected and cherished by many dear friends and family.
When we succumb to the prod and carrot and choose what is not completely right it actually puts our true possibilities on hold.
The wrong file cabinet or couch or companion fills the space where the "right" one would fit.
Trying to fill what we need from the outside with the prod and the carrot will always be less than perfect.
The Shift® begins from the inside with an understanding that the qualities of what we want, need, and desire are already present and perfect in our lives.
It takes practice to release the outside pull, but it can be done.
Begin small.
Choose the perfect file cabinet or couch.
The file cabinet I ended up with doesn't look like a file cabinet, but works better for what I need right now.
The couch I eventually found not only lasted me for years, but also my daughter's family.
And Del, as the true companionship I waited for, is the revelation of Divine Love's presence in my life.
It will always work out this way when we, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own [worldview] understanding.
" (Proverbs 3: 5) With this in Truth mind, the prod and the carrot can never trick us again.
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