Newlyweds Guide Note: This is part of a column on common problems that real couples face and the advice that couples therapists and psychologists offer to solve them. I interviewed the therapist via e-mail to get the information necessary to write the story. The names and identifying characteristics of the couples are changed to protect their privacy, and sometimes they are based on a composite of many couples the therapist has seen over the years.

The Problem: When the couple's son repeatedly stole from others, the father wanted to punish him, and the mother wanted to protect him. Their differing opinions on how to discipline their child brought tension to their marriage.

The Couple's Story: Jesse and Jimmy have a teenage son with a history of stealing. Both agree that stealing is wrong and that their son needs to stop this criminal behavior. Jimmy believes his son should face the consequences of his actions, even if that means going to a juvenile detention center. Jesse, however, wants to protect her child by getting him out of trouble. When their son first began stealing, they could find middle ground. Things got more intense with every incident because they started blaming each other for why their son continued to steal. Ready to get a divorce over the fact that neither was willing to back up the other, they turned to Crystal Rice, a therapist and relationship consultant, for Insieme Consulting.

The Diagnosis:Tension built for this couple because both husband and wife felt betrayed.

Add their son's continued stealing to the mix and you have a recipe for disaster. What would have been better, writes Rice in an e-mail, is if they had sought counseling earlier in the relationship before the resentment had pulled them so far apart. They need to grow closer and find a way to unite to help their marriage and their son. So, will their marriage survive?

While most couples might not have to deal with a child repeatedly committing a crime, they can relate to the question of backing up your spouse. There are times your spouse has a disagreement with someone else, and you don't agree. What do you do? "If your partner is having a disagreement with someone else, it's important to back him up, even if you don't necessarily agree with his point of view," writes Rice. "We do this because the minute you choose the other person's side, there is a tendency for your partner to feel betrayed which can ultimately break the bonds of trust in your own relationship." The caveats to this, she adds, are if the disagreement is a true discourse on something, such as politics, in which you can have your own opinion and your spouse shouldn't take it personally, or if your spouse is being mean or disrespectful, in which case you don't have to associate yourself with that behavior.

Of course, if the two of you are having an argument, then you are free to express your ideas. Still, you can choose your battles, so that you're not always fighting over unimportant issues. "But be careful not to become a push over," warns Rice. "If you find you're always the one to hold your tongue, you might consider having a real discussion about mutual respect and trust in a relationship."

The Solution: Jesse and Jimmy began to feel as though their partner no longer loved them. When you are constantly disagreeing with your spouse, you usually grow distant and your spouse assumes you don't care anymore. Even though they couldn't bring themselves to support one another, they had to come up with a way to show each other they still cared despite their differences. "Buy one of those books you think are lame that tells you how to bring back romance in your marriage and DO THEM," writes Rice. "Because it's the act of trying to make the other person happy after he or she feels so betrayed that counts."

They also had to learn how to argue, which is something every couple should do. To start, recognize when you're fighting incorrectly, suggests Rice. "When you find yourself cutting the other person off and not really hearing what he is saying, then the disagreement goes from healthy to unhealthy," she writes. "And of course, once the disagreement becomes personal, full of sweeping judgments, or disrespectful, a healthy discussion of opposite views becomes an unhealthy argument where no one gains a thing."

Even though they still have lots of work to do, Jesse and Jimmy are still together. After seven months of intense therapy with Rice, they feel as though they are back where they started when their son first began stealing. While there are still hurt feelings and the major problem to solve (what to do about their son), Rice writes, they have recognized their love for one another and why it is important to stick it out together.