Cold shoulders are like a virus in your marriage.
 They just spring up automatically especially when feelings get hurt or expectations are unmet.
 Cold shoulders rarely help.
 They usually drain a marriage, and do it quickly.
 Here's the run down on this marriage sickness, and how to find relief.
Causes- Cold shoulders don't just happen.
 They develop from offenses, attitudes and even sometimes outside forces.
 I even had a dream one time that my wife was leaving me for someone else.
 I woke up hurt and angry which caused me to pull away from her emotionally.
If your spouse offends you with words or by being thoughtless, you tend to pull away.
 You might even be going through some kind of stress at work or financially which could cause you to internalize your thoughts and be less relational.
Recognizing what causes you and your spouse to pull away from each other will help you to act or react differently under the same circumstances next time avoiding further trouble relationally.
Remedies- There are time in which you need to give your spouse some space, and there comes a time in which you need to approach the problem.
 The trick is getting the timing right.
Jumping in immediately with a question like, "Why are you ignoring me?" might make the problem worse.
 Giving your spouse a little time by waiting until you are sitting down for dinner or after the kids are in bed will limit other issues from complicating the process.
In a quiet moment you can mention that you notice by their quietness and ask if something must be bothering them.
 If you know that work or finances or relationships are taxing on them, then ask how it is going.
Don't forget to be patient.
 Your spouse may not be ready to talk.
 Be supportive and ready to listen.
 If it is taking more time than it should, which varies by person, then you can begin to talk about how you would like to help, but you cannot while they keep silent.
Prevention- The cold shoulder is sometimes just a typical response from an internal personality.
 If you and your spouse are not typically internal, then it is a tactic- not a healthy one by the way.
I know some couples that have a regular marriage meeting.
 They get together weekly and have a designated time to address issues and concerns in their relationship.
  You can prevent the cold shoulder setting a regular time of communication together and by choosing to be open about what you are feeling.
 The game of "guess what's making me mad," is terribly frustration and destructive to your marriage.