Tucker Carlson's Performance

The first minute or so of Tucker Carlson's performance was basically him sitting on a chair while his partner danced around him like a stripper (It was somewhere between cute and creepy). That part of the dance number seemed to drag on forever and we wondered if he was going to sit there for the entire performance. When he did get up, he made season two's disastrous dancer Master P look good!

Vivica A. Fox'sPerformance

Vivica A. Fox exuded a diva-ish attitude that said "I am a movie star! I am fabulous!" When she called host Samantha Harris "sweetheart" in her diva way, we wanted to yell at the TV -- "Tone it down Vivica! Being humble will get you more votes!" But her performance was pretty good and she scored points for saying she wanted to represent women who are over 40 and fabulous.

Sara Evans' Performance

Country singer Sara Evans gave a forgettable performance. The problem? She needed to loosen up!

Mario Lopez and Joey Lawrence's Performances

As expected, former heartthrobs Joey Lawrence and Mario Lopez showed that they still have sex appeal. But we were more impressed by Mario's moves. His hip action got judge Bruno so excited, he asked Mario if he had extra batteries for his pants. Settle down, there Bruno!

Monique Coleman's Peformance

One of the most uncomfortable moments was when judge Len Goodman remarked to pro dancer Louis Van Amstel that he should take his much-younger partner, High School Musical star Monique Coleman to a romantic dinner so they can improve their chemistry. We were thinking, she's not even out of high school! Despite the chemistry thing, she and Louis had a decent performance. And it turns out Monique is legal and out of high school, by the way.

Emmitt Smith's Performance

Emmitt Smith had rhythm, personality, and a little sex appeal too -- a lot more than I can say for some of the other men in the competition! The football legend even received the first standing ovation of the competition.

Shanna Moakler's Performance

What was most interesting about Shanna Moakler's appearance was what happened after her performance -- she talked about her much-publicized divorce from her rocker husband Travis Barker. She told host Samantha Harris that she needed to stay in the competition because it was a distraction from her problems. But she may be going home after a performance that did not stand out at all.

Harry Hamlin's Performance

We felt bad for actor Harry Hamlin, the husband of Season 2's Lisa Rinna. His performance was awkward and disappointing (almost Master P-ish). It seems Lisa is the only one who can dance in that marriage.

Jerry Springer was better than I thought he would be. Don't get me wrong. He is no Fred Astaire. But he did manage to get through his performance without making us cringe. He seemed like a sweet, noncontroversial old man and we almost forgot about his offensive, some would call it disgusting talk show until the crowd started chanting "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!"

On her intro tape, Willa Ford said she is known as the bad girl of pop. You'd think she was this ridiculously famous pop star who is always in the tabloids. The fact is, she had one hit called "I Wanna Be Bad" years ago. Dancing With The Stars will be the biggest thing that has happened for her career since then. So if Vivica seemed like a diva, Willa was the complete opposite of that. She was humble and her performance was great. If she sticks around long enough, she will gain some new fans.