If you want to save your relationship after adultery, you will have to first realize some cold hard facts. This is the most crucial time that will make or break the relationship. Even though adultery may seem like the worst thing that could happen, it also can be an opportunity to improve the relationship over time.

Being cheated on is a horrible experience to go though and no one deserves to have the trust in their mate broken in this manner. However, cheating is just a symptom of something else going on. Once you can figure out this part, you can work on what the problem is, and hopefully solve it.

Blaming the adulterer continuously won't solve anything because the damage has been done. It may make you feel good for awhile (you certainly have the right to be angry); but, if you want to save the relationship after adultery, there are better options to exercise.

Spending time apart is a good idea. Each party will have time to think about what happened as well as get a better perspective of the new situation at hand.

Trust has to be re-established as soon as possible. How can this be done? The one who cheated has to make a sincere effort to want to be trusted again. Do what you say you are going to do. Don't think you can relax or make excuses for your behavior anytime soon. Take baby steps if necessary. Look in the mirror and say, "Would I trust me?" If you can answer 'yes' you have taken an important step. Follow through on any or all promises you make.

For the person who was cheated on-your first inclination may be to keep a 'tight leash' on your mate. However, if you want to save the relationship after adultery, you have to give the other person the chance to change and make amends. No one is perfect, and while adultery is a terrible mistake, everyone makes mistakes. If the two of you cannot figure out why this happened, counseling may give you a better opportunity to find out.

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