Do have a mumbler living in your house? Someone who mumbles? Someone you have to ask several times to repeat a statement or word because you cannot understand what he/she is saying? Frustrating isn't it? Well, the English language is not the easiest to pronounce.
Every rule of spelling has an exception - or 10.
That aside, what we have a tendency to forget is that language was created to describe our world and our experiences.
Using our words with that understanding can clear things up a bit.
Let's take the word "worms.
" It's not the most pleasant word to keep in your mouth, in fact it feels better to say it as though you are pushing the worms away.
Try it.
What about the word 'love.
' It's difficult to say 'love' in a nasty way unless you distort the word.
It's a warm word and that 'v' at the end is sensual.
(Don't need to tell your kids that!) How about the word "fast.
" You can say it very fast and even feel the movement of the 'f' as you say it.
Now try "zoom.
" Zoom describes how 'fast' a car can go, but you don't really say it quickly because it is a sound description of a fast car.
Hear the car going by fast as you say, "zoom.
" Usually a confident person speaks with crisp clarity.
This is because she trusts that the wants and needs she describes are worthy of being fulfilled.
But a child who is rigid with anxiety or the low energy of low self-esteem is not going to make the effort to enunciate.
Giving your child permission to use words that describe how she is feeling and what she needs can make a big difference in her comfort with speaking.
She has to be comfortable with you first before she can safely make her needs known to anyone else.
You can help your child build that comfort and confidence by being listening without judging.
If she asks you for a pony in a clear, strong voice - great! You don't have to give her the pony, but you can respect her for asking for what she wants without fear.
If she says she needs a pony, you can teach her the difference between a want and a need.
This way, the doors of communication are still open, no one gets mad (hopefully), everyone gets to state their desire and everyone is being heard and understood.
Speaking up for yourself is a huge step toward a strong self-esteem.
Let's put this into a different context.
If an adult in your child's life wants something inappropriate from her, how likely is she to say, "No! That makes me feel bad!"? For most of us the hardest thing to talk about is how we feel.
So let's give you and your child some words to play with, yes just to play with and explore their meaning.
Play with speaking the words very clearly to really feel their meaning and how powerful one word can be.
Sad - it's hard to smile when you are saying sad, isn't it.
You even feel a little sad if you say it enough.
Happy - use the beginning 'h' with enthusiasm and the word almost bounces around the room.
Scared - this word can almost push your whole body backwards away from something with a shaking motion.
Angry - there's a lot of energy in this word that can push us forward into an attack mode.
Frustrated - it's even frustrating to get through saying it because it takes too long and is too difficult to say and...
you get the idea.
Playful - as soon as you say it, you want to get an idea for a new game.
Think of other words that your child uses, or words that will be useful in describing her feelings.
Make up your own words.
Such as, "I feel 'slogic.
' As long as you've both agreed on a meaning, the specific word does not matter.
The process of creating your own words is fun and can also open up your understanding to how the words of the English language are put together to express feelings.
Then use real words and say them as clearly as you possibly can.
It's empowering to state what you want, need and deserve in an understandable, strong voice.
Your child may then begin to realize that she is worthy of having her needs met; that she has value as a person; that she can feel strong because she speaks up for herself!