There are things that happen to us, that are said to us or even situations we find ourselves in, that empower us and make us feel 'on top of the world' ~ while other things seem to take away the soil we are standing on; leaving us feeling small and unworthy.
To me, it is intriguing that the perspectives and/or actions of other people can have such a vast effect on us, and on our sense of empowerment.
In part this is because us humans are very social beings, desiring to be 'socially acceptable'.
We tend to function better when those we care about are around us.
They are our support system, just like we are part of their support system.
The idea is to help those around us to become 'better human beings' than they ever dreamed about, to help them achieve their goals, and more.
Just like they are doing the same for us.
Those around us help us feel 'on top of the world', and, if we find ourselves experiencing hardships, they should provide us with a soft place to fall...
Unfortunately it doesn't always work that way.
All too often we find people around us that don't lift us up, but who seem to have reason to tear us down.
Whether that is because they don't like us, they don't agree with us or because they have a pattern to tear down just about anyone who comes close.
Pretty soon we find ourselves feeling unworthy and unacceptable.
And we start trying even harder to make up for our apparent failure.
It is a downward spiral that makes us feel smaller and smaller.
I do realize that either scenario is unrealistic in every~day~life; it is a black~and~white picture of the polarities of support systems.
So, where can we find the point of balance? I feel I have come closer to this point of balance by taking an honest look at myself and and answering the following questions:

1. What are my strong points? Like abilities, things that I'm good at; but also am I the caring compassionate person I want to be?
2. What are the things I value in my life? For instance qualities like honesty, peace, tolerance...
   
3. What are the points where I would like to improve myself? Points like having clear boundaries, or perhaps saying "no" more often.
   
4. What are my priorities? Are the things I prioritize truly my priorities, or are they the priorities of someone else?
5. Where am I willing to spend my energy? Am I willing to love and respect myself, and ensure that my needs are met? Or am I spending all of my energy supporting others?

As I answered those questions I found that in looking at my life from the perspective of my personal value system, from the perspective of what is important to me, I actually was doing pretty good! It seems that I had been relying on my support system, the people around me, too much.
Measuring how good I was doing; how worthy I felt by their standards rather than mine.
Making my empowerment dependent on what they valued in me, instead of living my own values...
Having a support system of people we care about around us not only is a good thing, it is something we need.
But ultimately it is how we view ourselves, how we love ourselves and how we care for ourselves that gives us the strength to stand on our own two feet; the strength to walk our own personal path to be self empowered!