Though our great-grandparents may have missed out on the exciting rush of playfully dating, they were probably also spared much of the heartache that can come from unmet expectations and painful breakups.
In today's culture where we are offered nearly unlimited choices, it can be difficult to feel truly confident in the decision to be with one person for the rest of your life.
Many people cite romantic relationships as one of the most rewarding aspects of their lives.
If you think you have found someone with whom you would like to build a life, there are many factors you need to consider.
First of all, it is important to consider how compatible your lifestyles are.
If you drive a hybrid car and recycle religiously, a union with a very materialistic or wasteful person would probably have only a small chance of success.
While it may be true that sincere love can overcome many differences, even platonic roommates usually make some effort to ensure that their lifestyles are compatible.
These surface differences matter because they speak to our underlying principles.
Many couples find it helpful to sit down and compose separate lists of the values that matter most to them.
Without prior coaching, see how many values appear on both partner's list to get an idea of how similar you really are.
Try to include examples that illustrate each value.
For example, if you list "citizenship" as a value that matters to you, specify how often you would like to vote or attend town hall meetings.
If "creativity" is an important value for you, give concrete examples like attending dance classes together or even just playing with sidewalk chalk together.
Another factor to consider is how similar your future goals are.
While you and your partner might be smitten right now, unmet expectations in the future could end up tearing your relationship apart.
Try to determine for yourself how you envision your life ten years from today.
Are there children running around your feet? Do you live in a country home or a modern apartment? Will you have advanced on the corporate ladder? If you imagine yourself as a high-powered executive but your potential spouse imagines operating a family farm, your romance may not work out after all.
Finally, if your lifestyles, value, and goals all line up, examine the personal side of your relationship.
The long-term relationships that flourish most are based on mutual respect, where neither party considers himself better than the other.
Does your partner realize how wonderful you are? More importantly, is his positive opinion of you based on his familiarity with the most authentic version of you? If either partner is pretending to be someone they're not, the basis of true appreciation is washed away.
With that said, even partners who seem perfect for each other on paper will still run into conflicts, and there's no reason to be afraid of this.
Rather than searching for a perfect partner, remember that differences can sometimes be the source of inspiration and humor, and conflict can help both partners mature and grow together.
The key to overcoming hard times is communication.
If each partner can trust the other to be open and honest about feelings, expectations, and doubts, there will be little room for animosity to silently foster between the two.