Self-esteem is a concept most of us were taught.
It started primarily at the beginning of schooling.
Every teacher and adult mentor I have had attempted to boost my self-esteem as a child.
I was extremely shy and feared speaking in public so whenever I was called on in class or asked to participate in school programs it made me cringe.
For years I cried at the thought of participating in such ways.
There was nothing anyone could do to make me stand in front of a group of people and feel self-confident.
When I tried to raise my self-esteem it caused me to focus more on my individual inadequacies and what other people thought of me.
Although I had not yet failed at anything in life, the thought of disappointing someone or not doing a good job was haunting.
For years people told me that I had low self-esteem and needed to be more self-confident if I ever planned on doing great things in life.
These statements didn't help me at all.
As a matter of fact the idea that I could just be more self-confident was hinged on me being able to control what others thought.
I did not have that mutant power to make people think the best of me, so there was no way I could just be more self-confident.
Finally, it dawned on me that this lack of control was making me weak.
But how could I gain control over what people thought of me? Obviously, there was little I could do.
This is when I started viewing the word "self" in self-esteem differently.
The only way I was going to overcome my fear was to take the word self out of the equation because self was my hindrance.
It wasn't the people I feared, it was self.
I needed a way to get rid of the ultimate enemy to my confidence.
Notice this time I did not say my self-confidence.
The word self has become of low importance to me over the years.
No longer do I add the prefix "self" to words like confidence, esteem, motivated, or worth.
Instead, I replace it with the words "I AM" to say that I am confident; I AM motivated; I AM esteemed; I AM worth the effort.
This reminds me that I didn't overcome my fears on my own.
God is the great "I AM" and He made all the difference in the growth of this once fearful little kid to a bold and courageous Man.
When I look at the word self with my spiritual eyes, it's plain to see that I cannot be self-sufficient and believe that God, the Great I AM, is the God of All sufficiency! I cannot maintain self-control if I have relinquished all control to the Great I AM! It becomes a spiritual paradox because nothing is done "yourself" in the body of Christ! When I replaced the word self with I AM, then all of my inadequacies were replaced with God's sufficiency.
No longer am I depressed because I'm not self-focused.
I focus instead on God's power and greatness as opposed to the threat that averts my attention.
I focus on God's power to deliver me rather than man's attempt to destroy me.
To date, I have spoken in front of thousands and the only fear I have is a reverential fear of God, that my thoughts are not His thoughts and my ways are not His ways.
So my success has to be attributed to the fact that I AM His vessel.