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Children can be troubled for various reasons.sad image by SHANICIA JACKSON from Fotolia.com
Investigate what's troubling the child. Don't go for the quick fix. Whether you're a parent or counselor, once a child starts to exhibit behavioral or emotional problems, don't attempt a get him to "straighten out" right away. An ongoing problem at school might be making him feel angry--for instance, the recent rejection of a close friend. Another possibility might be an undiagnosed medical problem like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Withhold judgment until after a checkup with a doctor. In the meantime, spend time offering support. - 2
Children can feel inadequate, too.angry girl image by Lisa Eastman from Fotolia.com
Listen for signs of low self-esteem. When a troubled child shares angry feelings, don't censor her. Instead, note words and phrases that hint at low self-worth. For example, a child often talks angrily about a classmate who criticizes her at school. You also notice that the child refers to herself as stupid. This causes a drop in the child's self-esteem and acting out. When she comes to you, be on her side. Empower her by asking what she's going to do. Monitor her behavior to see if it improves. - 3
Her pain is real.sad girl image by Marzanna Syncerz from Fotolia.com
Pay attention to a troubled child's behavior. Notice if she often sheds tears or if her facial expression stays sad. Her problems may result from melancholy or rage, which could cause her to feel disruptive or self-destructive. Get her to talk about her feelings or write them in a journal. Make those her two options, and monitor the journal-writing activity by insisting that she journal in front of you. Make it clear that you won't read the journal unless she wants you to. - 4
It hurts to be put down.sad boy image by saied shahinkiya from Fotolia.com
Identify with the child by remembering what it was like when you were his age. Don't belittle his problems or call them silly. Think of how easily you were hurt over things that now seem trivial. Children experience emotional devastation over seemingly harmless incidents. If a friend named Robert doesn't speak to him one day, his ego could be severely wounded. Act as if the problem is as earth-shattering as the child believes, but remain objective and adult-like. When there is a pause in the conversation, ask reflective questions, for instance, "So you're saying that Robert walked by you without speaking at all?" Use this technique sparingly, and offer solutions only if he asks. - 5
Use different methods to get the child talking.le pinceau image by Francis Lemp??ri?¡§re from Fotolia.com
After building rapport, choose a method or form of treatment such as play therapy. Pick something that she likes to do. During the play session, casually bring up a relevant topic and let the child take it from there. Don't push too hard. Just ask questions and behave like a friend. Questions like "What happened next?" or "What did she say?" or "What happened after you called him a fat cow?" are appropriate. Don't condone or judge her words or thoughts. Gently move the child toward revealing the root cause of her problems.
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