If you're at a social event and you've gathered the courage to walk over and introduce yourself to someone, congratulations, the hardest part is over.
The next steps of starting up a conversation and keeping it going are easy if you know the right type of questions to ask and when to ask them.
Here are 6 easy rules to keep in mind when meeting someone new.
1) Don't get too personal too fast.
Start with something small and impersonal like a third person, third subject or an object.
Try asking how they know a friend you have in common or if they like the food or music.
If the conversation seems to go well, you can move onto more personal questions.
If it doesn't go well, it just seems like you were making chit chat and you can easily excuse yourself.
2) Have a list of favorite questions to ask.
Once you've moved into a more personal conversation, have a list of questions in your head that you feel comfortable asking and can easily remember in case there is a pause.
Think of topics that you will be able to add something to; it would seem silly to get someone to talk about their favorite book and have to answer back with "I don't really read" when they ask you what yours is.
3) Ask open ended questions.
A close ended question is one that a person can answer "yes" or "no" to.
If you ask someone an open ended question such as; "What's your favorite type of music?" it's more likely to spark a conversation and give you something to build on than them answering with a "no" when you ask them if they like the music.
4) Be prepared with follow up questions.
These follow up questions can become a little more personal.
If they tell you they like country music, you can ask them what got them into it.
From there they may tell you that their best friend is a country singer or that they grew up in the country.
These answers can easily lead you to more questions or a topic you can contribute to.
5) Start sharing more about yourself.
Try and find ways to relate their answers back to you and find a common interest so you can turn it into a full on conversation as oppose to a Q & A segment.
If they tell you their best friend is a country singer, think about whether you know anyone who is a performer.
Maybe you're a singer or maybe your biggest fear is to sing in front of a crowd, either way, share this with them and see if it branches into something you can connect on.
If not, ask another question.
6) Know when to throw in the towel.
If you've done your best and asked all the right questions but the conversation just doesn't seem to be flowing, it's okay.
Not everyone is going to click and there's no sense in trying to force it.
If it's just not right or they're giving you short impersonal answers and seem uninterested, let them know it was nice to meet them and move onto the next.
Practice makes perfect.