It is generally the case that, when we think about grief, we associate it with bereavement - that is, with a death.
Of course, death-related losses are indeed major sources of grief, and it would be foolish not to take account of that, whether in the workplace or in professional practice.
However, it is also very important to recognise that grief can arise from any loss situation, not just those that involve bereavement.
If we are not tuned in to this, then (at least) three detrimental consequences can arise: 1.
We might not realise that someone is grieving and might therefore fail to support them at a crucial time when they are perhaps at their most vulnerable.
2.
Someone's emotional response or behaviour may make perfect sense to us if we are aware that they are grieving, but without that awareness, we might attribute their response to a situation to other factors and thereby distort our understanding of what is going on.
3.
Because the association between grief and death is such a strong one, people who are grieving non-death-related losses may not realise themselves that they are grieving.
This can then add to their sense of confusion, distress and vulnerability because they do not know what is happening to them, thereby making a difficult situation even more difficult.
Clearly, then, it is extremely important that we are attuned to issues of grief as they relate to any significant loss and not just those that arise as a consequence of bereavement.
A key concept in this respect is that of 'cathexis'.
This refers to an emotional investment and can apply to a relationship (where we love someone or have a close friendship with them), to a job, a place or indeed anything that really matters to us.
When we experience a loss we lose that emotional investment - we experience an emotional void, a sense of emptiness which reflects the loss we have encountered.
So, the more we have loved someone or something, the greater the sense of loss and emotional emptiness- that is, of grief - we will experience.
This reflects the idea that grief is the price we pay for love.
People can grieve because they lose a skill (maybe through injury, illness or disability, for example) or the opportunity to use that skill (through changes at work, for example).
Grief can also arise when we lose a hope or aspiration when we realise something we really wanted is now beyond us.
In fact, we can experience grief in relation to anything we put our heart into (cathexis).
Very often knowing that grieving is what we are experiencing can be enough to make the situation manageable (albeit, painful, difficult and exhausting for the most part), whereas wrestling with the powerful emotions associated with grief without realising that we are grieving can be extremely challenging.
We can even feel that we are going mad because we are having such a strong reaction (to a loss) but we are not sure why we feel the way we do because we have not made the link between the intense reaction we are experiencing and the loss we have encountered.
We therefore need to be wary of 'hidden grief ' - that is, very real and potentially overwhelming grief reactions which we do not connect to the underlying loss(es) that will have provoked such a reaction.
When we come to fully recognise the implications of the fact that grief is not just about death, we begin to realise that grief is much more common than we generally realise and a factor (often a key factor) in situations we encounter when working with people, whether in the caring professions, the workplace generally or in our personal lives.
Being 'grief aware' can therefore be not only helpful, but also, in many sets of circumstances, essential for developing an adequate understanding of situations we are dealing with.