I find it particularly strange the way people go about "uncle-ing" everybody - young or old - is enough to make me turn grey overnight! I did not mean to offend dear uncles and aunties, but I am literally shaken dry and being driven crazy by this uncle-ing fever that seems to be spreading like an epidemic far and wide without showing any sign of fading away.
Honestly speaking, it irks me, when people hail me with, "Hello uncle", "Hi uncle", "This uncle", "That uncle", and so on and by the way I don't sport a "Moustache" then why such allegations on me? I get frozen with that addressing.
I, who am fit enough to join a youth political party, wonder how my colleagues blatantly call me uncle - what about their kids then? Perhaps, I shall be a granduncle to them! It amazes me quite a lot to hear my neighbour, with 2 or 3 children, address me as uncle, as if am wedded to their sisters.
Neither my age nor any blood relationship with them qualifies me, justifiably, to be called so.
Is it their ignorance or do they lack education and sophistication, I wonder.
Well, as a matter of fact, coming to sophistication and education - these haven't changed the reasoning power of our society college girls, thoroughly "Americanized", if one goes by their hairstyles and amazing dress sense, have only one wishful word to address me by and that is "uncle".
Poor me, I keep getting pulled into this dreadful vortex of Uncle-ing fever! It makes me wonder if I have to go hit the gym; get back in shape or something.
But no! No! Why should I get needlessly distressed about this Uncle-ing thing when I know I don't look like an uncle? Can't they see that I am still a fabulously modern young boy, who has not left his teenage years far behind and is yet intact with the capacity to laugh and dive down into the swimming pool (although I don't know the ABC of swimming and I secretly admit that!).
Yes, the capacity to laugh at such craziness, stupendous silliness or whatever you call it.
Is it their abrasiveness or do they get a feeling of false insecurity by calling someone uncle? Inspiringly however, some young nieces don't consider it wrong to throw a few amorous glances at a particularly handsome uncle! I wonder, what "Obama uncle", "Aamir uncle", "Salman uncle" and "Akshay uncle" have to say to these silly yuppie children? It's catching isn't!