It was a beautiful, crisp morning on September 28, 1995 in Los Angeles.
I stood at a local newsstand engrossed by an array of magazines.
O.
J.
Simpson was everywhere.
A softly focused picture of Ronald Reagan pulled me like a magnet.
The cover of Newsweek read, "The Long Goodbye.
" I was overwhelmed by a rush of sadness.
I had always looked up to Ronald Reagan, not just as "the great communicator" but as my role model.
I had a very deep connection to President Reagan.
We shared the same doctor, Dr.
John House of the House Ear Institute.
My hearing loss is profound as I am only able to hear 2%.
All my life, I pretended to understand the muffled voices.
I kept my hearing loss a secret, afraid of being judged, cast into a mold that was not particularly "glamorous" and being held back from achieving my dreams.
However, knowing that one of the greatest leaders and communicators of our time was also living in "silence' gave me the reassurance and inspiration to share myself with the world.
I started working in the entertainment industry promoting closed captioning services to all networks and studios.
I turned my disability into something positive and utilized it as my greatest asset.
After all, attitudes are the "real" disability.
In the early 1990's, after seeing Dr.
House at the House Ear Institute, I wrote President Reagan a letter, telling him of our common bond and how he had inspired me.
I had a new dream of opening up the world of communications to all.
I was in disbelief, when just a few days later, waiting for me on my doorstep was a personal letter from President Reagan that was filled with warmth and inspiration.
I have treasured ever since.
While I had this exquisitely framed personal letter from President Reagan displayed on my wall, I needed to meet him and go beyond the surface of the written word.
Standing at that newsstand with my eyes set on the Newsweek Cover, it seemed clear, that at this point, the chances of meeting President Reagan were very slim if not null.
The Newsweek article stated that President Reagan was only meeting with close friends and trusted dignitaries.
I knew deep in my heart that if I was ever going to fulfill my dream of meeting him, the time would be at that moment.
I called President Reagan's Los Angeles office and spoke with his Secretary.
I told her of my past connection to President Reagan.
Then, I swallowed hard and asked: "Is there any chance of meeting him now?" She suggested that I write a letter requesting a visit- but told that it would not be likely.
I immediately wrote the letter.
It came out quickly and naturally...
All the words flowed in a way that confirmed to me that this was a letter waiting to be written.
I faxed it the next morning, Friday, September 29th, 1995.
At least I'll always know I tried, I thought to myself, and I went back to work.
Monday morning, October 2, 1995, was like any other Monday morning.
I came back from a meeting and listened to my voicemail.
"Lori, this is Karen Moore from President Reagan's office.
The President has the opportunity to meet with you tomorrow at 1:30pm.
" I was stunned and went into a euphoric state of shock.
I literally thought I was hearing things and called a group of co-workers to listen to the message...
Everyone was silent as it felt surreal.
I had to get President Reagan a special gift.
Something that would make him smile, but what? Hmm, I said to myself...
and realized, "jellybeans"! So, I called the Jelly Belly Candy Company and spoke with the CEO who told me that President Reagan's favorite jellybean was black licorice.
I wanted to find some type of a "signature" container for the jellybeans and by a stroke of luck, I came across a handcrafted Lucite cowboy hat that I would fill to the brim with licorice jelly beans.
I put a red, white and blue ribbon on it.
My BMW convertible's top was down...
the breathtaking California sun was setting in the backdrop and as I sat looking at the jellybean filled cowboy hat on the car seat next to me, I laughed out loud...
It was him! October 3, 1995 was the day of the O.
J.
Simpson verdict and the day I met Ronald Reagan.
Ironically, President Reagan's Century City office was located in the Penthouse on the 34th floor of the Fox Plaza; the same building as Simpson's lawyer, Robert Shapiro.
When I entered the building, I couldn't help but feel a sense of gravity, a palpable tension as lawyers bustled from the elevator.
I walked through the lobby with my jellybean filled cowboy hat.
I felt removed from this gray world.
People smiled as I went by.
From the gleaming expressions on the faces of all, it was obvious who the recipient of this gift was.
I think it reassured people that President Reagan was well enough to be receiving it.
A security guard took me up in the elevator.
The elevator was full of lawyers discussing the anticipation of the O.
J.
Simpson verdict which was to be rendered at any time.
Their conversation ceased when one of the lawyer's pointed to the hat.
"Hey, look at that!" A refreshing and wholesome distraction from the late Johnny Cochran's: "if the glove doesn't fit you must acquit.
" When I got off the elevator, I was greeted by some jovial Secret Service men who laughed out loud when they say the jellybean filled Lucite cowboy hat.
A stylish young woman in a cream colored suit introduced herself as president Reagan's administrative officer, Karen Moore, the woman I had spoken with on the phone.
"The President is just finishing up his lunch" she said.
"Please have a seat and he will be with you shortly.
" As I took my seat, I was struck with the sudden realization that I had no idea what to expect.
I had an image of a superman, but recent Media reports painted a different picture and I was frightened by the possibilities.
Ms.
Moore left the room briefly, then returned, gesturing through the open door, "The President is ready for you.
" I followed her into his office.
President Reagan stood at his desk and I crossed the room to shake his hand.
I felt an immediate sense of calmness within.
He smiled, he looked so handsome and strong, so tall and full of dignity.
His eyes twinkled like a star that could light up the sky.
I was surprised by their blueness, for some reason, I had thought they were brown.
He was elegantly dressed in an impeccable navy blue blazer, a crisp white shirt and a powerful red tie.
I felt as if I were looking into America's face.
I placed the jellybeans on his desk and shook his hand; a warm, firm handshake, but it felt familiar, as if I'd always known him.
Ronald Reagan caught sight of the jellybeans.
With a childlike glee, he ripped open the plastic covering and shoved a huge handful of the black licorice jellybeans into his mouth.
I couldn't hold back my laughter as President Reagan tried to chew far too many jellybeans at once.
Ms.
Moore asked him if he would like to take some photos, but he could not answer as his mouth was filled with jellybeans.
President Reagan, with black licorice covering his teeth, then said, "One second, let me chew these beans.
" Everyone engaged in the heartiest laughter...
including President Reagan.
I felt like I was with my grandfather as he made me feel so comfortable.
The deep connection between us was unexplainable.
Something that was larger than life.
President Reagan then said, "Let's stand in front of the books"...
"It looks good in front of the books" as for our taking some photos together.
We stood in front of President Reagan's rich mahogany bookcases filled with his personal snapshots of the most memorable moments in his life which also shaped world history.
Photos of President Reagan with Margaret Thatcher, Pope John Paul II; Bill Clinton and Gorbachev were displayed on the shelves lined with his personal library of books and keepsakes.
President Reagan started to slowly walk to his desk.
He went into the top drawer and took out a prominent blue box.
"Lori, this is for you," he said, smiling warmly.
I opened it.
Inside was a Presidential Seal which was inscribed with President Reagan's signature on the back.
President Reagan then took the Seal and presented it to me.
We walked to the couch and sat down.
He's given me so much and now I wanted to give him something back.
I told him that my passion was to make a significant difference in the world.
I said: "I want to follow your footsteps in being the great communicator.
" With grandfatherly pride, Reagan said, "You will do it, you are good.
Stay the way you are.
" I had a sense of euphoria go through my body.
I knew that I would treasure this moment and the Presidential Seal, not just as an honor from President Reagan, but as a symbol of dreams come true.
The end of our visit drew near.
Ms.
Moore then said, "President Reagan, why don't you show Lori the fish tank that we got you for your 85th birthday.
" President Reagan proceeded to the fish tank and bent over as he intensely tried to locate a specific fish to proudly show me.
All of a sudden, I started to see the mask and glare of Alzheimer's slowly starting to cover his face...
he appeared lost.
I wanted to shake him up and get him back.
I gently squeezed President Reagan's hand and said:" Now, you feel well and you be strong because you are our Hero and I won't accept anything less from you.
" His eyes welled up with tears.
He started to cry uncontrollably and said:"that means so much to me.
" "Thank you so much, Lori.
" You are my gift.
" The Secret Service Agents were crying.
The Press Secretary was crying.
I embraced President Reagan as I would my grandfather.
I comforted him as he wept loudly on my shoulder.
Hugging him tightly, I felt the barrier of Alzheimer's breaking down.
He was coming back.
It was at this moment in my life, when "I broke down the wall of the man who broke down the wall" that I knew I had a mission.
I asked President Reagan if I could kiss him on the cheek, he said: "of course!" Kissing him was like kissing a new baby on top of Mount Rushmore.
The contrast between President Reagan's vulnerability and the greatness of his legacy comparable to that of Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and Lincoln was chilling.
I continued to console him.
I kissed him on each cheek and then proceeded to get my purse on his couch.
I gave him a warm hug and said so long.
As I walked to the threshold of President Reagan's office, I turned back to look at him one last time.
President Reagan was standing tall and saluting me as if he was stepping off Air Force One and I was America.
In the beginning, I reached out to President Reagan because I related to the essence of his optimistic nature, love of laughter and the shared bond of hearing loss.
Over the years he became my personal hero and was a source of inspiration for me.
In turn, I was fortunate to be able to give back at a very vulnerable time in President Reagan's life by being there for him shortly before he rode off into the sunset of his life.
Maybe the issue is not that the world is silent, but to the contrary; it is too loud.
When Ronald Reagan said "hello" I heard him loud and clear.