Self-Improvement and Leadership Seminars began with Dale Carnegie in the 1930's.
The 1960's saw the development of Personal Growth Seminars such as Sylva Mind Control and 'est'.
In 2002, Dr.
Phil brought the concepts to national TV with his "Get Real" seminar on Oprah.
Now, what if nations got into the act? Facilitator:Welcome to We're All In This Together the Leadership Self-Improvement Seminar For Nations.
Please stand and tell us about yourself and what you want out of this weekend.
There, in the front row ...
New Zealand.
New Zealand:Hi everyone, I'm New Zealand.
Facilitator:Hello.
So, why are you here and what do you want? New Zealand:(sigh) I'm frustrated.
I need leadership abilities.
It seems that no matter what I do, none of the other nations ever seem to notice me.
Facilitator:Interesting.
It seems to me that the problem is much bigger than 'other nations not noticing you.
'How do you feel about yourself? New Zealand:OK, I guess.
But, I just never feel like I'm good enough at anything, especially leadership.
Facilitator:In my experience, most nations are their own worst enemy.
New Zealand:That's for sure.
I'd never be friends with a country that treated me the way I treat me.
Facilitator:So it sounds like your real issue is self-worth.
Would it be a satisfying experience for you if you could end this weekend feeling better about your leadership ability? New Zealand:Absolutely.
I'd give anything for that.
Facilitator:Ok, New Zealand.
Are you committed to create that? New Zealand:Yes.
Facilitator:So, who else could take more leadership or wants more self-worth?I see hands by Canada, the Dominican Republic, Mexico, South Africa, and hey ...
is that?Yes!Good for you, Russia.
Everyone, let's give New Zealand a round of applause.
OK, who is next? There, in the back row, Switzerland.
Switzerland:(standing) Hi.
Facilitator:Hello Switzerland.
So, why are you here? Switzerland: (pause) I don't know.
I really don't know if I need self-improvement or leadership.
I think everyone sees me as a leader (long pause).
Perhaps I need to quit being so analytical? Facilitator:Let me try to help.
Is that something you really want to change? Switzerland: (long pause) Sure.
Just like anyone, I'd like to be spontaneous and have more fun.
Facilitator:OK.
For the rest of the weekend I want you to focus on being spontaneous.
OK? Switzerland:(pause) OK.
I'll try.
Facilitator:Oops.
As Yoda said, "There is no try, only Do.
" Switzerland:(pause) Right (long pause).
I'll be spontaneous.
Facilitator:Great.
Let me see the hands of the nations that need more spontaneity.
I see Japan, Germany, Ukraine, Cuba, South Korea, India, Pakistan and Tibet.
Facilitator: Great.
OK, who is next?There, France.
What brings you here? France:That's Easy.
I do not need leadership.
I do not need self-improvement.
Except that I just hate being judged.
The USA has, how you say, a control issue and won't listen to anybody.
All I do is tell them not to attack Iraq, and now I'm the bad guy.
Many people over there are now even boycotting me.
Is this fair? Facilitator:Whoa, slow down.
Such negativity.
What are you doing to yourself and your leadership? France:Nothing.
I'd prefer to have a little wine and make love.
Maybe make some money.
But no.
The USA wants all the money and thinks critics are automatically their enemies.
They are the ones who need self-improvement.
Facilitator:OK.
Stop.
I think your problems are a lot bigger than what the USA is doing.
What do you want? France:Peace.
I really just want to enjoy life.
Facilitator:Well, the first step to peace might be to stop being so critical.
Don't you see that if you don't stop judging others, you will never get them to stop judging you? France:Possibly.
But the USA has to stop trying to control everybody.
Facilitator:OK.
I'll bite.
How would you like them to act? France:With love, of course.
Facilitator:So, you would like for the USA to exert more of a Love-Based approach to its leadership? France:That would be magnifique.
Facilitator:Then you need to show them how.
Demonstrate Love-Based leadership.
Let's start with acceptance.
Repeat after me.
"Criticism in any form is destructive.
" France:You must be kidding.
Facilitator:Do you want peace? France:Oui.
Facilitator:So, take a step and repeat after me, "Criticism in any form is destructive.
" France: (reluctantly) Criticism in any form is destructive.
Facilitator:Pretty good leadership.
Everybody give France a big hand.
That's a start France.
Keep up the self-improvement for the weekend, and let's see what you can do to improve your leadership effectiveness.
OK? France:Oui.
Facilitator:OK.
USA ...
your turn.
USA:(crossing its arms and legs) This is ridiculous.
I don't need to be here.
I really do not need leadership.
Everyone knows we lead the world in just about everything.
Self-Improvement is what everyone else needs.
France:See.
There he goes already.
Facilitator:Um, France.
We're working on acceptance, OK? France:Oui.
Facilitator:USA?Let's try again.
So, what's going on? USA:Great.
After 9/11, everyone supported us against al-Quaeda.
Then, when I go after Iraq, everyone has amnesia.
(shouting) To hell with you all.
I don't get mad, I get even.
Facilitator:Fascinating.
Tell me.
What are you feeling right now? USA:Resentment.
Anger.
I am really mad.
Facilitator:Oh, sounds like you do not really mean it when you say, "I don't get mad, I get even".
I think what you really mean is, "When I get mad, I get even.
"(long pause)So, what is your anger doing to you and your leadership? USA:Nothing.
Facilitator:Nothing?You look like you are going to pop a vein.
USA:OK, so I'm a little stressed.
What do you expect? Facilitator:I don't expect anything.
I just want to know what that anger is doing to you.
USA:I guess it is not helping me all that much.
Facilitator:I didn't ask what it is not doing, I asked what it is doing.
USA:Well, OK.
It is hurting my leadership.
Everyone is starting to resist me.
But I don't know what else to do.
Facilitator:Fair enough.
Let's look a little deeper.
What is your anger doing to your relationships? USA:My relationships are just fine.
Facilitator:Oh really?Didn't you just say that everyone is starting to resist you?And wasn't France your first relationship? USA:Yep.
But look at her.
I bailed her out in World War I and then again in World War II, and what's the thanks I get?Backstabbing.
Facilitator:So.
Let me see now.
France makes you mad? USA:Tons.
Facilitator:And Iraq makes you mad? USA:Sure Facilitator:Who else? USA:North Korea, Afghanistan, Iran ...
a bunch of them.
Facilitator:So, everyone else is wrong? USA:Don't say it like that.
I'm not paranoid.
They really are out to get me.
Facilitator:Even the nations that simply don't want you to go to war? USA:Yes.
Facilitator:I think you need to look a little deeper.
Can I be honest with you? USA:Sure.
Facilitator:When someone else makes you mad, who is in control of your anger? USA:I am.
I am in charge of my own feelings, right? Facilitator:Well, not exactly.
Follow me here.
If they don't do something wrong, then you're not mad ...
right? USA:Right Facilitator:You only get mad when they do something wrong? USA:Yes.
Facilitator:Well, if someone else's behavior is causing your behavior ...
who is really in charge of your behavior? USA:I am.
Well, no.
Wait a minute.
OK.
I get it, they are.
Facilitator:Very good.
Bottom line.
You are not in charge of yourself, but you want to control everyone else.
USA:Sounds pathetic when you say it like that.
Facilitator:Interesting reaction.
USA:So what should I do?Open my borders?Chant?Send flowers to terrorists?I do not need that kind of self-improvement.
Facilitator:I don't know what your answer is.
But, do you need anger to institute better immigration policies? USA:No, I guess not.
OK, OK.
I get it.
So, what should I do? Facilitator:Perhaps the answer is not in what you do to protect yourself, but in how you do it.
You need to take leadership with your own feelings, and stop reacting.
Start rebuilding the trust in your relationships.
USA:Yeah, I guess so.
Facilitator:Then let's start with your resentment with France.
Repeat after me.
Ready? USA:I might as well.
OK.
Facilitator:Look directly at France and say, "I honor you and I accept you, even though I don't understand you.
" USA:I honor you and I accept you, even though I don't understand you.
Facilitator:There you go.
That wasn't too bad was it? Now you and France give each other a hug (reluctantly they hug each other).
It's a start.
Everyone, give the USA and France a big hand.
Facilitator:Now, everyone get a partner.
I want you all to try this with the other nations.
Notice how you feel when you say it.
Notice how you feel when you hear it.
No other dialog please.
You don't have to hug, just say this sentence to each other ...
"I honor you and I accept you, even though I don't understand you.
"OK?Ready, begin ...
(Five Minute exercise).
Facilitator:OK.
Everyone take your seats.
You all did very good.
We're going to take a short break.
During the break I want you to discuss the following concept.
Facilitator:When something goes wrong, you only have two choices regarding leadership and self-improvement ...
"Fear-Based Reacting" or "Love-Based Leadership.
"Please discuss this concept with each other during the break, and we will talk about it when the seminar resumes.
See you all in about 20 minutes.
And Colombia, remember our agreement ...
no smoking.