One of the most frustrating things when planning a wedding can be friends and family that chime in with things that you absolutely "have to have" at your wedding.
While most friends and family are very well meaning, that doesn't mean that they don't ramp up your stress significantly.
Anytime you hear a sentence begin with "Are you going to..
..
" or "You should have..
..
" picture a giant red flag waving in front of your face.
Suggestions that start like this are sure to be budget busters.
Sure, when these comments or suggestions come from people outside of your inner circle, it's not hard to discount them.
Just say thank you and "that's an idea I'll think about" and do what it is that you had planned on.
But, dealing with suggestions of close friends or family members can be a bit more tricky.
You may not know the best way to gently tell them that their suggestion doesn't fit into your budget.
Be really careful here - this outside pressure can and is generally responsible for couples going over their budget.
You've got to find a way to let these people down gently and not fall prey to the pressure their suggestions often put on you.
Sure, it may easier to give in, but just think about the extra bills you'll have on your hands after you are married.
5 Tips To Deal With Pushy Friends And Family 1.
Gee, that's a great suggestion, but our budget is really tight This type of response will eliminate thoughts the person making the suggesting may have that you are singling out their suggestion as not being worthy.
Some people will challenge you that their suggestion won't cost all that much.
If you've done your homework, you'll likely know what their suggestion will cost and can let them know the actual cost.
Show them your budget if you think that will help.
2.
Let people know in advance that you won't be inviting people that you don't know very well This will eliminate or at least help cushion the blow when various family members want long lost relatives invited.
If you've not seen someone for 10 years, does it make sense to spend money to include them in your wedding? In many cases, a simple announcement will suffice.
This will also let the long lost relative know that you are not ignoring them.
3.
Let people know that you've already made many tough decisions on the guest list and that you really can't squeeze anymore in.
This approach is best used when someone you invited asks if it would be OK for them to bring an additional guest.
This approach will also show that you've put a lot of thought into your guest list.
Perhaps you can offer to go out to dinner with those that you simply aren't able to add to the guest list.
Sure, it's not the wedding, but it'll show that you care about these people.
4.
We've decided that we will only be inviting family and close friends This approach works well when a family member or friend wants to have clients or other business associates attend the wedding.
If you allow these extraneous guests to attend, you're sure to blow your budget.
This approach also lets people know that this is your wedding and that you have the final say.
5.
Say "that's a nice idea, but I simply don't have the time or money for it" This works well if your mother in law or close friend wants you to make favors or centerpieces or some such thing.
Letting them know you don't have the time is a great way to deflect this type of suggestion.
As an added benefit, people with these type of suggestions may offer to do it themselves - saving you money in this area of the budget.
Assuming they are planning on paying for all the materials, that is.
Remember, this is your celebration and your money.
It's always nice to say yes when you can, but by all means, don't bow to the pressure others put on you just to keep them happy because it'll be coming out of your pocket! Of course, one of the best ways to shortstop pushy friends and family members is to communicate with them before they can make budget busting suggestions.
I've found that one of the best ways to jump on top of this before it becomes an issue is to share your budget with your friends and family as soon as you put it together.
Definitely share it with those who are may be helping you pay for the wedding.
Doing so will show these folks that you are on top of things and will have a very clear understanding of the limits you've set.
Most clear thinking people will not saddle you with suggestions that are out of your budget when they know what your budget is.