Do you ever feel like this? It can happen now again even to the most confident and courageous of us.
We are living in increasingly difficult times when leadership is under question and leaders have disappointed so many people in virtually every sphere and walk of life.
Seek not to let people down.
If you are a leader learn at least one lesson from this dear man who was so loyal and true and honest and faithful as he led in a time and in circumstances which were very trying and challenging.
Seldom do you hear a man boasting about his weaknesses, but this strong effective successful man did.
He went as far as rejoicing in his weaknesses.
That is one reason why we should never hide behind a superficial mask of incompetence.
Confronted with one set of challenges after another, Paul, the servant of the risen and living Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, knew that he had the life of God within him.
Jesus Christ was inspiring and motivating him, and the Holy Spirit was anointing him.
That is some 'back up team'! I am so glad that over these forty five years I have known the presence and guidance and support of this "divine back up team" and I am not using that phrase in any frivolous or superficial manner.
It is much too serious and precious to treat Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, in any disrespectful way.
There were moments when dear Paul thought his life was simply wasting away.
The opposition which frequently faced him physically, as well as spiritually, was real and taxing and tough, but not even the political authorities of Rome could crush this dedicated disciple of Jesus Christ.
We have the risen resurrected Lamb of God with us, and within us.
We are reminded of that truth whenever we eat the bread and sup from the cup.
Significant events are taking place in Scotland, and decisions are being made which a few years ago would never have been contemplated.
When I was ordained over forty five years ago I never thought I would see such changes in society.
Never did I think there would be such a falling away from the faith, although I must also admit that we have seen Almighty God work and move in power and give birth to new fellowships.
However, there have been changes in morality and standards which cause me to tremble.
Recently we sang that great hymn, "The day Thou gavest, Lord, is ended" but from a very different context and perspective.
The day which God gave us, in the 1960's and 70's, and perhaps to the end of the last century, is no more.
There will be another day.
It may be better.
It may be worse.
Should you wish me to come and speak on this I would be more than pleased to do so and would count it an honour and regard it a privilege! Writing is important but now and again verbal communication and teaching with an attempt to answer various real deep questions, which may really bother some people, can be even more helpful and useful, and that is why I write as I do.
This dynamic apostle, who knew what it was to be scarred, battered, and bruised, and even perplexed, was never in despair.
His clay jar, filled with glorious treasure, was near to breaking, and the more fragile he was, the more powerful did his light shine.
Now, there's a word for a time when what we thought would never be shaken, is being shaken fiercely.