This is Part 5 of a 5 part online course. Learn more about the structure, length, and overview of this course.

Five Weeks to Make a New Friend: Part 5
One of the toughest parts about new friendships is they require a lot more "work" than the other relationships you've had for awhile. You need time to look for activities to do, conversations are often not as easy in the beginning, and you might find that you're the one doing all the initiation when it comes to calls and emails.

It can be taxing, and you may wonder if it's worth it.

These feelings are normal, and rest assured it gets easier as time goes on. If you've had a set group of friends for a long time, you may have forgotten how difficult it can be to get a new friendship off the ground. But don't give up.

In this final lesson, you'll be getting used to doing follow up with the folks you met for coffee in Week 4. You did all that hard work in making small talk and joining some new activities, and now you're in the home stretch. While this is the final "week" of this lesson, you may find that you'll be in this phase for a lot longer for some friendships. That's okay. Each person and relationship is different.

Sometimes you'll click with people faster than others, but that doesn't mean you can't be good friends with the people that take longer to warm up to your friendship.

Follow Up With Your New Friend
At this point, your new friendship is still in its infancy, which means that it needs plenty of attention in order to blossom fully.

This is often the point that people give up, thinking that it's just not worth the effort. But you've come too far for that. Instead, get used to taking the lead on follow up.

As your friendship goes on, you and your friend will take turns in scheduling things or calling each other. But in the beginning, you'll probably find that you're the one doing all that.

First, reflect back on the coffee or lunch meeting you had in Week 4. If you both caught yourself saying something like, "We should get together and go to a movie sometime" or "Do you like to hike? There's a trail right by my house" then that's the opener for your follow up. Contact your new friend and ask if they'd like to do the thing you talked about, and set up a time together.

If you didn't mention anything specific during your first meeting, assess how you feel about the person. Do you want to meet them for coffee again? Do you feel comfortable inviting them to do something else? Follow up with an email and ask if they'd like to meet again. If they do, great.

If not (and there is always that possibility), don't get upset. Sometimes people think they want a new friend in their life when in fact they don't. If they blow you off, go back to Week 3 and re-evaluate the people you've met. Ask another one out for coffee and take it from there. Continue doing this until you have a social life that feels full and satisfying to you.

Here are some tips that can help you this week:

 

• My Friend Keeps Bringing Someone Along on Our Outings
• How to Be More Self-Aware
• 5 Ways to Nurture Friendships

 

Do you have a question about your new friendship? Post it in the Friendship Forum and get opinions from other Friendship readers.

Want to start over again? Go to the Introduction >>

Five Weeks to Develop a New Friendship
Introduction
Part 1: Practice Small Talk
Part 2: Get Sociable
Part 3: Evaluate
Part 4: Ask a Friend Out for Coffee
Part 5: Follow Up