I know you wouldn't believe if I told you that spending too much time with your partner would hurt the relationship. People have the conventional belief that spending more time together helps to understand each other better. However, they do not know that all of us are actually individuals who need personal space.
It is important to learn how to achieve the balance between US (needs of relationship) and ME (individual needs). A simple equation can explain this:
"ME + ME = US"
Too much "ME" can result in you and your partner drifting apart, while too much "US" can stifle your partner, causing resentment and undesirable conflicts.
You must learn to achieve an equilibrium of family, friends, love, work and self. How can you maintain your individuality?
1. Go and take part in an activity which you can enjoy even if you are alone. Take up some courses which interest you such as surf boarding, yoga or dance classes. After sometime, you will discover that you are a much happier person with more private time for yourself. This is because you have actually learned new skills and this is part of self-growth.
2. Try hanging out more frequently with your best friends. Give your friends some updates on your life. It will be easier for your friends to accept your partner into your social circle this way.
3. Try spending the weekends with your families. Take the initiative to visit your family if you are not living together with them and bring them out for a picnic or dinner.
How much "ME" time you need depends on what you and your partner are comfortable with. For example, some couples seem to do well spending every waking moment together.
You can take a look at the following tips to understand the amount of "ME" time you need.
1. Communicate with your partner and discuss the amount of time both of you would like to spend together each week. Discuss with your partner and once both of you are agreeable, stick to the consensus.
2. You need to recognize that your partner has other commitments outside your relationship. Grant your partner more individual space if necessary. Each individual needs space and time for self-growth.
3. Trust your partner and be confident with yourself. Never think that your partner will mess around with the private time that you have freed up for him/her.
If you decide to grant each other some private time, you should be prepared to trust your partner.
It might be loving to spend time together, but you need to remember that all of us need space to do our own stuff too.
Your world should never revolve around one person or relationship!