But the alchemy of theater is difficult to predict, and often impossible to manage. There are simply too many variables, too many demands, too many egos involved in creating a musical. So, despite their best intentions, even the most respected and capable of creators can run afoul of theatrical vagaries.
Think Stephen Schwartz and The Magic Show; Jerry Herman and Dear World; Cole Porter and Something for the Boys; Frank Loesser and Greenwillow; Claude-Michel Schönberg and Alan Boublil and The Pirate Queen; Charles Strouse and Bring Back Birdie, Nick and Nora, Dance a Little Closer, Charlie and Algernon, and Annie Warbucks. All talented people, all supremely lackluster shows.
What follows is a decidedly subjective assessment of shows in which even the most successful musical-theater practitioners couldn't quite pull it off. I mean no disrespect whatsoever to any of the parties involved. I just think it's illustrative, from a critic's perspective, to contemplate why certain shows work and others don't. And I find it encouraging to other musical creators to note that even the the best of the best have shows they might rather forget.
Paint Your Wagon
Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe, the men who gave us My Fair Lady, one of the best musicals of all time, also gave us Paint Your Wagon. Which wasn't. Never mind that the 1969 film version is one of the most dismal movie musicals in Hollywood history, the property upon which the film is based is no great shakes either. One doesn't often get the chance to see Paint Your Wagon, but Encores staged the show last season, and while the score has some really lovely songs, the book is a shambles. It's basically about the American Gold Rush of the 19th Century, but the characters are static and two-dimensional, the milieu is depressing, and not a whole lot really happens over the course of the show. Plus, there's a plot point about a Mormon selling one of his wives to a prospector. Really. More »
The Happy Time
John Kander and Fred Ebb are among the most risk-taking creators in musical-theater history. Sometimes the risks pay off big time (Cabaret, Chicago). At other times, the shows are admirable, even exciting, but the public, alas, wasn't all that interested (Kiss of the Spider Woman, The Scottsboro Boys, The Visit). And then there's The Happy Time, a rather languorous effort, about an itinerant French Canadian photographer who takes a nostalgic trip to his hometown. The book, by playwright N. Richard Nash, pretty much goes nowhere. Also, the characters are thin, and although Kander and Ebb created some memorable songs (e.g. "I Don't Remember You" and the title song), the hit-to-clunker ratio is low indeed. The Happy Time contains some of K&E's most awkward and unappealing songs ("A Certain Girl," "The Life of the Party," and the particularly dreadful "Without Me").More »
Pipe Dream
Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II gave us Oklahoma!, Carousel, and The King and I, for which we should all be eternally grateful. South Pacific and The Sound of Music don't completely work for me, but there's no denying the enduring appeal and popularity of both. But after creating the modern musical, R&H seemed to forget the very innovations that they had set forth. To wit, Allegro, Me and Juliet, and Pipe Dream. Allegro was certainly ambitious, albeit flawed, but Me and Juliet, an insubstantial backstage comedy, has very little to recommend it. But Pipe Dream is the nadir of the R&H partnership. Aside from a few pleasant songs ("The Man I Used to Be," "All at Once You Love Her"), the score is either decidedly unmemorable, or even painful. The act one song "The Tide Pool" is an utterly ridiculous and unsuccessful attempt at comedy, and contains the lyric, "Stupid sons of fishes / To live in a tide pool." Oh, Oscar. Oh, Dick. Let's just forget this ever happened, shall we? More »
Road Show
Frank Rich once said that to be a Stephen Sondheim fan is to have one's heart broken at regular intervals. It's safe to say that Sondheim has been the most influential, innovative composer/lyricist of the past 50 years. But with innovation comes risk, and with risk comes the potential for failure. Sondheim has certainly had great shows that have lost money (Follies, Sweeney Todd, Sunday in the Park With George) and shows that were artistically ambitious but notably flawed (Anyone Can Whistle, Pacific Overtures). But every one of those shows has at least some element that is fascinating and worth revisiting time and again. Not Road Show. Despite numerous rewrites, and at least three title changes, Road Show remains Sondheim's least engaging and most inert show to date. Unlike with his other shows, Sondheim has a really hard time with Road Show making us care about these flawed and morally fungible characters. The songs are workmanlike and forgettable. The show is just one big meh. Hopefully, this won't be the last we hear from the Master Himself. It would be rather sad for Road Show to be Sondheim's swan song. More »
Rocky
To quote Frank N. Furter, "Oh, Rocky. How could you?" There was no shortage of established Broadway talent working on Rocky the Musical. But the most heartbreaking aspect of the whole dreadful affair was that the show tarnished the otherwise sterling reputations of composer Steven Flaherty and lyricist Lynn Ahrens, creators of such wondrous fare as Ragtime, A Man of No Importance, and Once on This Island. I have to think that Ahrens and Flaherty were somehow hamstrung by the demands of producer Sylvester Stallone, or uninspired by the show's bleak modern feel, which is so out of place in their oeuvre. Rocky was irredeemably bad. The book was clumsy and full of holes. The score was dull and lacking in any kind of distinction. But I remain hopeful that Ahrens and Flaherty will rebound successfully, perhaps with their upcoming musical Little Dancer. More »
Starlight Express
I know some of you out there might be taking issue with my inclusion of Andrew Lloyd Webber as one of the "Best Writers" that I refer to in the title of this article. But I'm not one to automatically bash Sir Andrew. I've enjoyed and appreciated a number of his shows, including Evita and Sunset Boulevard, despite their admitted flaws. I even sorta kinda enjoy certain aspects of The Phantom of the Opera, and, yes, even Cats. But I draw the line at Starlight Express, which I had the displeasure of sitting through in London. Starlight Express is really the ultimate triumph of technology over storytelling, and represents the worst that the Techno-musical had to offer. The score has some not-unpleasant melodies, but the lyrics are puerile, and the story makes no sense at all. The central conflict of steam versus electric trains is false and forced. One character makes a complete 180-degree shift from good to bad in the middle of the show with no justification. Sir Andrew has defended the show by saying that it takes place in the brain of a young boy playing with his trains, but that's an insult to young boys everywhere. I hear very good things about Lloyd Webber's upcoming Broadway show, The School of Rock, which opens this fall at the Winter Garden. But nothing will ever erase the sheer pain of Starlight Distress. More »