Years ago, a client (let's call her Gina) told me about a dream she kept having over and over again.
In her dream, Gina goes to her favorite ice cream shop.
A confirmed chocoholic, she looks forward to treating herself to her favorite flavor on a regular basis.
But when she gets to the shop, she realizes thatall of the cartons of ice cream are now vanilla .
Every single one.
She asks the clerk if there are any other flavors available.
"Actually, each of these flavors is different.
This vanilla has a subtle hint of almond, for example.
" "But it looks like plain vanilla to me," she says.
"Well, true, it DOES look like vanilla.
They all look the same, but there is a subtle difference in the flavor of each.
" "Okay, well, what about toppings? Can I add chocolate sauce on top?" she asks.
"Oh, no," says the clerk.
"We don't offer toppings here.
" Resigned, she tries a few flavors, and yes, she can tell that there is a bit of an essence of strawberry here, or a whiff of coffee there, but there's no question thatit's still vanilla .
She looks around and sees plenty of people enjoying their various vanilla flavors.
Some are rhapsodizing about the taste of one version of vanilla while others are insisting that theirs is the most sublime of all.
And then she wakes up feeling sad, unfulfilled and hopeless.
It's not that she doesn't appreciate vanilla, but she really LOVES chocolate.
She feels likeshe has lost interest in the whole idea of eating ice cream if the only option she has is a variation of vanilla .
I asked Gina how she felt about the choices available to her.
She told me she'd spent the previous three years exploring different types of meditation, but despite the time and effort she'd put into her daily practice, she felt that she'd lost her way.
She was sad that she felt she wasn't "built" for meditation as everyone she knew seemed to find it profoundly beneficial.
She even confessed to feeling guilty about considering giving it up, but she longed to break away from her vanilla world.
Where was the chocolate? First of all, Gina was looking for permission to try something other than meditation.
I was happy to tell her that she could certainly develop mindfulness in chocolate ways! Second, Gina needed to incorporate mindfulness into her daily life in activities thatengaged and enlivenedher naturally.
Gina was startled to realize that she had set aside many of her favorite activities in order to create more time for meditation and quiet reflection.
She was spending 30 minutes each morning and 30 minutes every night in meditation plus another 30 minutes writing in her journal.
But despite committing nearly an hour and a half a day to getting connected, she felt truly disconnected from what she loved most.
In addition, she was dejected about a weight gain prompted by less exercise (more sitting)! And so, that's where we started.
Because she had always lovedswimming , Gina started going to the pool several mornings a week.
She focused on a particular technique and simply used her time in the pool as her meditation.
She was an accomplished gardener, and so we came up with great ways for her to makegardeninga focused and calming mindfulness activity to soothe her after work.
And as a cellist, she had a deep appreciation formusicand learned how to strengthen her connection to sound while building newfriendshipswith others in a small musical group.
In other words,she quit meditating but swam, planted, played and laughed her way to greater mindfulness!She started to think of her days as being "delicious" and relished the flavors of each activity.
Mmmm.
Chocolate.
By tapping into her **bodily-kinesthetic intelligence (swimming) **naturalistic intelligence (gardening) **musical intelligence (playing the cello) **interpersonal intelligence (making friends) Gina developed a deeply fulfilling mindfulness practice that didn't require a single minute of meditation.
She felt calm, clear and creative and experienced a new sense of awe about the world around her.
She was happily eating- and truly appreciating-chocolate in more ways than one.
Not everyone is into vanilla, and even those who are can appreciate opportunities to explore the complexity of a full range of flavors.
If you find that meditation leaves you with a taste for something that reflects and inspires you more authentically, head for the chocolate-- or strawberry, daquiri ice, peppermint, or jamoca almond fudge with extra nuts and chocolate on top.
Add some new flavors to your mindfulness practice, and you'll be savoring the richness of life with a big smile on your face.