The three letters, D, T, R, represent a cross-roads for those in friendship relationships with the opposite sex.
It could either mean doom and gloom, or a path to a satisfying and happy relationship that goes beyond friendship.
But there is a fine line between the two possibilities.
If you are friends with someone who is of the opposite sex and you spend a lot of time together then you are possibly in danger of having the "DTR", also known as the "Determine the Relationship," moment or talk where you and your closely held friend talk about the future of your relationship, either as friends or as more than friends.
Here are three ways to handle a "DTR" successfully.
The first thing that you need to do if you find yourself in a "Determine the Relationship" situation is to be calm.
This is more easily said than done, because these kinds of talks about relationships can be very emotionally charged.
It's important to note that a "DTR" does not mean you are being rejected or that there is something wrong with you if you are on the receiving end of it.
If you are initiating a DTR, then you need to be aware of the possibility that the other person might construe it as a rejection and need to reassure the person that the relationship is on good terms.
Being calm and not overreacting will allow you to understand fully what is going on, what is being said and will allow you to think through a plan of action.
The second thing that you need to do if you find yourself in a "Determine the Relationship" situation is to salvage the friendship no matter what.
If the DTR is heading towards the definition of your relationship as friendship only, then it's important to see it in a positive way, even though you'd like to see it be more than friends.
This is important because there may be an opportunity later where things might change, but you will never have that opportunity if your reaction to a DTR is to feel rejection and react negatively to it.
Being in a close relationship with somebody, especially if it is a close friendship, requires patience, especially in difficult situations like these.
The third thing that you need to do if you find yourself in a "Determine the Relationship" situation is to understand boundaries.
Here's where a DTR might actually be beneficial to both parties.
If you are spending too much time together and do everything a couple does except being intimate and calling each other girlfriend and boyfriend, then drawing boundaries at this point will be the best thing for your relationship.
You can do a better job of understanding where you both stand and do what is necessary - either to spend less time and guard your hearts more, or to decide to be in a relationship together.
I know from experience that a DTR can go wrong.
If you take it the wrong way, you can make the same mistake that I did, and regret it years later.
If I had to do it all over again, I would have taken the advice in this article and salvaged the friendship.
Even though I wanted to be more than friends, being friends though, would still have been good.
Even if you've made the same mistake, there's hope.
Next time, you can try matchmaking and hope that it becomes a close enough relationship where you don't need a DTR.
You'll know that you are a good match and can focus on the relationship, rather than being worried about where you stand.