All parents -- work-at-home or not -- are invited to daytime school events throughout the year, and deciding when to attend and when to decline school events can be tough. Going to school events definitely gives you an interesting glimpse into your child’s world, but work-at-home moms have to, well, work. In fact, some work-at-home moms’ schedules may be no more flexible than their counterparts’ in the office.

Pros and Cons of Attending School Events

But many parents do attend daytime school events. However, doing so involves certain trade-offs. Sorting through the pros and cons of school events can help you decide which to attend.

• Kids have a whole different life at school filled with people and rules that you know little about. School events give you a look into that world, though your presence tends to change the dynamics.
• Taking time out for in-school activities might mean more evening or weekend work. For me, this can be an entirely acceptable trade-off, depending on the activity.
• Not all school events are for everyone. One parent’s memory-building field trip is another parent’s bumpy school bus nightmare. Choose wisely.
• Interaction with your child at school events varies greatly. While kids generally appreciate that you came, sometimes you may not have much more contact with your child than a quick wave.
• And there are always evening events, if you can't come during school hours. These give you the opportunity to interact with teachers, staff, kids and other parents, which helps a paint a better picture of your child's school life.

Choose Your Events Carefully

Think about which events are going to be the most meaningful to you and your child. Personally, I hate field trips. I find it nerve-wracking to be even partly responsible for other people’s children in a potentially chaotic setting.

I also tend to opt out of class parties. Instead, I prefer to set aside two hours a week to volunteer in my kids’ classrooms. At the beginning of the year, I schedule a regular date and time to come in and help. My kids and their classmates become used to my presence, and I can see them in a more typical environment than a field trip.

But that’s just me. I notice that many parents seem to genuinely enjoy field trips and class parties. Figure out what you like to do and do it when you can. But don’t try to do everything.

Make It Clear That You Have a Job

Home-based workers often run into the problem of people who assume, because they are home, they are not working. Friends and relatives ask favors (walk the dog, run errands, etc.) that they would not ask of someone who worked in an office. Because children generate so many requests for volunteers, this is even more of an issue for moms who work at home.

If you spend time in your child’s school during the day, room parents or teachers may begin to see you as the go-to gal for everything. Make it clear that you have a job. When you decline a request for a daytime appearance at school, say that you have to work. Even when you do say yes, preface your acceptance by saying something like, “Let me check my work schedule and get back to you,” making it clear that this is an exception and not the rule.

Find Other Ways to Be Involved

If you cannot go to daytime school events, don’t feel bad. There are plenty of other ways to be involved at school. The lack of a commute still makes getting to evening events easier. School administrators know that many parents cannot come during the day, so important events like parent-teacher conferences, as well as more optional ones like back-to-school night and PTA meetings, are usually in the evening. Sports and special fundraisers are often on weekends, too.
But when there is a daytime event at school that you cannot attend, be sure to ask your child about it afterward and share in their excitement.