Functional relationships... what every gal wants and too many find completely impossible to maintain. So lets chat about what you need to have and avoid to cultivate a functional relationship.

First off, you need to be physically attracted to your significant other. You are probably thinking- Duh, how obvious. But what about all of the Debbie desperates out there trying to convince themselves that their zero is a hero.

In all seriousness, its okay to let Debbie slip out every once in awhile- but don't just let her run rampant. To clarify, don't hop into a relationship with just any old Joe that wanders into your life, even if you are not all that attracted to him. 'Giving the relationship time' to let the attraction build is just a polite way of saying that you have to talk yourself into being attracted to your man just because you are afraid nothing better is going to be coming along for awhile. Not cool, Missy.

Second, you are going to need to let down your guard and learn how to trust. If you trust someone you will not act like a crazy stalker. You will not hack into his Facebook or Myspace page- no matter how strong the temptation may be. And you surely are not scrolling through his texts as soon as he gets in the shower. No you want to know what you will find in there? Nothing good. Nada.

If he has no text messages from the fairer sex you are going to be disappointed that your man isn't Mr. Mysterious and wildly desired by multitudes of ladies. And if there are texts from strange females- even if they are totally innocent like, "hey jackass let me borrow your homework" or "thanks for stealing my lunch out of the fridge in the break room, asshole"- you are going to freak out. You will. Because the written word can pretty much be interpreted in any way that your crazy little brain wants to makes sense of it. And you are going to assume that by 'asshole'- the brainless bimbo he works with meant 'guy that looks really sexy fumbling with the fax machine'. But hey, it's not your fault.. all of us women are a little looney. We are entitled to be, seeing as how we have to bleed from our loins once a month and push hysterical little people out of our happy places.

The next super unattractive behavior you are going to avoid to nurture a functional and healthy relationship is- you are not going control your significant other. We only try to control others when we are over compensating for feeling scarily out of control ourselves. Attempting to control a man only encourages him to do the exact opposite of what you are forcing upon him- therefore escalating the problem.

For example, if your boyfriend is corresponding with his ex girlfriend- tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and upset, and that you would undoubtedly prefer, for your sanity, that he discontinue this behavior. Do not flip out and immediately start shouting that he is forbidden from speaking to her again or that he must choose either you or her. And certainly, do not initiate this little altercation at one in the morning, armed with a little liquid courage. Try to be as sensible as possible- even though at times, this demands almost super-human amounts of self discipline.

If you behave like the controlling 'ball and chain', I assure you the second you are out of earshot, your boy is calling the female-in-question up to complain about what a psychopath his girlfriend is. Is that 'right' or gentlemanly or fair? No sirree. But by reacting in that manner you just made her seem like the "cool", level-headed girl... and you just went down a few attraction points in his eyes. No one wants to be bossed around, but especially not men. They are hard-wired to be the dominant and 'manly'.. so he doesn't want his lady friend to strip him of his manhood.

OK, so lets review- no controlling or distrusting behaviors. And brainwashing yourself into getting that 'loving feeling' for a man is not a healthy behavior on the road to building a Functional relationship. Keep these things in mind to get a little less crazy and a little more healthy from your relationships.