It's one of those days ...
when things just seem to not be going "right" ...
I'm feeling unloved, unlovable, lost & lonely; feeling abandoned by friends & foes alike; like a failure; hopeless and without resources.
It's big-time hAla'hala (the poison which arose ~ and subsequently was "stored" in the throat of Shiva ~ when the god & demons churned the milky ocean in an effort to draw forth the amrita that would bestow bliss & immortality).
It's a bone fide "negative-ego" downward spiral ~ wilder than the wildest of amusement-park rides.
(Remembering here: the Tibetan yogi Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso, describing his habit of going to amusement parks, and finding the scariest rides ...
as preparation for traveling through the Bardo ~ the passage, after "death," between this life-time & the next.
) And then ~ thankfully ~ recalling a practice first taught to me by Leslie Temple-Thurston, a practice perfect for moments just like this one ...
The practice (drawn from the Hindu yoga/meditation tradition) is simply to say ~ in response to all those (internal or external) voices that are shouting, whispering, whimpering or screaming such discouraging, disparaging and really un-helpful things: Netti, Netti ...
Tat Tsvam Asi!, whose English translation is "Not this, Not this, You are That!" This is a phrase that has its origins, most famously, in the Chandogya Upanishad, and secondly in the Katha Upanishad.
The phrase Tat Tsvam Asi (You are That!) is spoken (in the Chandogya Upanishad 6.
1) by Uddalaka, who is teaching his precocious son, Shvetaketu, about ultlimate reality.
According to Uddalaka, our perception of the plurality of objects is an illusion of speech ...
The truth is that just as the essence of every clay pot ~ regardless of its shape or size ~ is simply clay, so the essence of all manifest forms (including you and me) is Brahman (God, Spirit, Allah, Buddha Nature, the Tao, Whatever): ayamAtmA brahma tattvamasi aham brahmAsmi prajnAnam brahma Thou art that Atman and Brahman are one I am Brahman All this is indeed Brahman And what exactly is this "Brahman" which is the essence of who I am? According to the Katha Upanishad, the best (and only!) way to describe the Ultimate reality is by applying a via negativa sort of strategy, i.
e.
by saying what it isn't ...
and hence the phrase netti, netti, "not this, not this" ~ which is to say that Brahman is without the kind of qualities we usually perceive and associate with forms in the phenomenal world: The supreme Self is beyond name and form, Beyond the senses, inexhaustible, Without beginning, without end, Beyond time and space, and causality, Eternal, immutable.
~ Katha Upanisad 2.
2.
2 We find a similar teaching (that no formed or formless "object" can be considered to be the ultimate reality) in chapter 1, verse 62 of the Avadhuta Gita of Dattatreya (a wonderful Advaita Vedanta text, translated here by Swami Ashokananda): Always "not this, not this" to both the formless and the form.
Only the absolute exists, transcending difference and nondifference.
So how then does any of this apply to my feelings of worthlessness, despair and/or general grumpiness? When I find myself in one of these states of mind, I simply say (to that state of mind, or the voices expressing it): Netti, Netti, Tat Tsvam Asi! ~ "Not this, Not this, I am That" ...
Which is to say: I am not this negative-ego patterning that is currently manifesting as these yucky states of mind, but rather: I am Divine! And ~ at a deeper level ~ this is saying also to those very states of mind: you can't fool me ...
I can see that even though you're currently manifesting as this rather disagreeable form, that in your essence you too are Brahman, you too are Buddha, you too are Divine! (It's like suddenly recognizing your friend, beneath a scary costume, and saying to him/her: I know now who you are, so you can no longer scare me!) It's a simple, yet extremely powerful, affirmation: An act of power which almost always creates "space" around/within those negative emotional or mental patterns ...
a space in which I can remember who I Am, really ...
a wonderful technique to have in my (and now your) spiritual toolbox ...
Netti, Netti ...
Tat Tsvam Asi!