Updated April 29, 2015.
What kind of older person do you want to be? Chances are, you have some ideas about what you don't want to be like as you age. You may have friends or family members whose approach to aging doesn't appeal to you: maybe they keep to themselves, often complain about health problems, or seem to have simply given up on life.
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Choose a model of healthy aging: The good news is, you can find someone you'd like to pattern yourself after just about anywhere.
There's nothing to say you must follow in your own parents' footsteps, when it comes to shaping your life in older age. You may find an older member of your church, a colleague at work, or even a celebrity (think comedian Betty White, humorous and active in her career well into her nineties) particularly inspiring.
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How can a mentor help? In the workplace, a mentor is often someone who is formally or informally assigned to help a less experienced or less knowledgeable employee. Finding a career mentor is a great way to advance your role in an organization, because it helps you navigate your professional life more efficiently, by seeing which choices and behaviors are most effective in that environment.
Likewise for a healthy aging mentor. Following their example can help you see which life choices and approaches seem to have worked well for them. Whether it's how they fit regular exercise into their week, eat right (at least most of the time), or maintain a strong social network — all longevity-boosting traits — modeling your own behavior after theirs can help you stay healthy as you age, too.
Do they have to know they're your mentor? Not at all. Many of the healthy habits that help keep you young are straightforward. What you're looking for in a mentor are clues about how they implement these behaviors in their everyday life. If, however, you are comfortable asking them about their daily decisions and outlook on life, they will very likely be flattered by your interest and be willing to share their insights and perspective.
Here are some simple ways to follow their lead:
- Study what they do: Is this person great at juggling different time commitments during the day, in order to work in boring but beneficial workouts? Do they sign up for different exercise classes to keep their mind engaged? Or are they just generally active, in the garden or around their home? How do they manage difficult people in their lives, or stress in general? See if you can decipher what it is about their attitude that keep them peacefully interacting with others.
- Enlist their insight: If you feel comfortable doing so, inquire about their choices. Tackle it like an interview or research project: see how their attitudes shape their behavior, and try to identify which of those actions appeal to you. Not everything they do will work in your life, but even one or two tips can be useful.
- Enlist their support: If you know this person well enough, you may formalize the arrangement somewhat by asking if they're willing to stay in touch as you try and implement your new habits. They can help you trouble-shoot if for example, you find that making time for relaxation or meditation seems too difficult, or you're struggling to cope with a difficult boss or other job pressures. Just having their encouragement can ease your transition into a healthier lifestyle.
Remember, there's nothing to say you can't have more than one positive aging mentor. The goal is to find ways to boost your own health, wellbeing and longevity in general. Finding pillars of a support system in this methodical way might seem contrived, but you are sure to benefit from their experience. At the very least, new contacts will broaden your own support system and keep your mind nimble and open to new ideas.
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