"Last week North Korea publicly admitted for the first time it has nuclear weapons. The Bush administration has so far shown very little concern, as the North Korean missiles are believed only capable of reaching the Blue States." --Jon Stewart on North Korea's nuclear weapons program

"President Bush wants a further $82 billion for the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. $82 billion more he wants. If he's not careful there's going to be no money left to attack Iran or Korea." --Craig Ferguson

"North Korea has declared they have nuclear weapons, saying they need them to protect themselves from a hostile United States.

President Bush said today North Korea has nothing to fear from America. He said 'Don't these people understand we only attack countries that don't have weapons of mass destruction?'" --Jay Leno

"North Korea announced that they have nuclear weapons and they have no plans to give them up. The White House, acting quickly, announced their plan to invade Iran." --Craig Ferguson

"It's been reported that in the event of an emergency situation with North Korea the U.S. is prepared to send 70% of the Marine Corps to the region. According to President Bush this will still allow us to send another 70% to Iran and keep our other 70% in Iraq." --Tina Fey

"President Bush meet with the president of South Korea. Things got off to an awkward start when President Bush asked 'Are you from the good Korea or the bad Korea?'" --Conan O'Brien

"North Korea may have built an atomic suitcase bomb that could slip into this country. The good news, the airlines lost it." ?Craig Kilborn

"North Korea admitted they are building nuclear bombs, and President Bush has asked the question: 'Can we attack a country that has weapons of mass destruction?'" ?Craig Kilborn

"The administration says that taking military action against North Korea all depends on whether or not their plutonium has any oil." ?Craig Kilborn

"North Korea announced they have nuclear weapons and President Bush said he needed a few days to respond ? I'm sorry, to reload." ?Craig Kilborn