The lighter side of shingles.
What? If you're reading this, the neon sign in your head is flashing "oxymoron"; or maybe just moron in the case of those of you who've had a personal connection with this condition.
For how could you possibly find a "lighter side" to such a horrible affliction as shingles? Well, the human mind is a miraculous machine and in many cases, such an experience can become suppressed, or repressed, whichever the individual can manage to achieve.
Because shingles and its effects can be a consistent companion, a person experiencing them should have a support system: family, friends, clergy, a large glass of wine or all of the above.
If there aren't any support groups near you, they can be organized.
There have been some suggestions brought to my attention by fellow shingles sufferers.
Definitions of eligibility could be incorporated into the mission statement so members would know if they're in the right group or not.
Acronyms start popping into one's head like the 80s pop-up videos on VH1.
You can probably picture a very strange and disturbing founder's day picnic as well.
For starters, there's S.
A.
, or Shingles Anonymous, for those who are overly sensitive about their condition.
What about S.
S.
T.
or Shingles Support Team, for those who take a supersonic, take-charge approach to life's adversities.
Let's consider S.
L.
U.
T.
, or Shingles Looking Unto Recovery, an ironically named set with a more religious bent to their group.
Or the class voted most likely to have the highest membership: O.
S.
H.
I.
T!, or Our Shingles Have Invaded Totally! Little to no explanation needed here as these members are in it for life just like their symptoms and side effects.
The only thing missing is a really great reunion party.
You can see how things can deteriorate so quickly, which is why there can be a bright side to all of this; it's just that individual results are not guaranteed and may vary.
I am a shingles sufferer.
I sound like a member of S.
A.
but in reality, I carry the flag for O.
S.
H.
I.
T! There are certain group characteristics for each which may overlap into other support sectors.
During my darkest hour, my husband checked me for dead.
I believe that to be an O.
S.
H.
I.
T! moment as opposed to an S.
A.
moment.
There are six weeks of my life that I can't recall.
I find that intriguing.
There are weeks I've spent aside from the shingles bout that I wish I couldn't recall.
I'm sure that, pain aside, they sucked as much life out of me if not more.
When reflecting on what I may be able to draw out of this as a "bright side", I recognize that it was a difficult time in my company's life; transition, restructuring, infighting, unclear direction, poor decision-making and generally low morale, were just a few of the treats I missed while I itched, scratched and doped my way to recovery.
My associates were miserable.
I missed all of it.
There's something to be said for time off no matter how high the physical price.
Mentally, I was as serene as the Dalai Lama.
That kind of peace of mind is hard to come by.
But on a high note, there are always drugs to help you through; just take your pick.
Pain doctors are top of mind news right now.
They have lots of suggestions for medication and management.
Just listen to their advice, then put up a dart board and let 'em fly.
Once again, individual results may vary.
If you find the right ones, you may even feel like your mind has expanded and you are now using parts of your brain that you were previously unable to access, thus revealing a higher-plane, more intellectually aware self.
Don't be deceived; like many other chemically induced mind-sets, the effects are illusionary and strictly transitory.
That epic conversation with Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin and your great-great uncle Grant? Never happened, man, never happened.
There's also rehabilitation; for what aspects of shingles I'm not sure but most likely, mental rehabilitation.
This would more than likely be where the grief phases of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross would enter: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Anyone who never asked "why me" is probably not being truthful with themselves or anyone else.
The therapists' couches are full of patients asking this question.
Just how many ask due to a shingles episode is a statistic we may never know.
All jest aside, there should be useful pearls found within the chronic throbbing, itching and crying of your shingles experience, whether it lasts 20 days or 20 years.
You only need to dig deep inside; they're probably just deep down and dormant next to that pesky varicella virus.
But then again, maybe letting sleeping dogs lie is a better idea.