The light turns green, as it usually does...
and as they usually do, the drivers in the cars in front of me accelerate with the vigor of a two-legged turtle with blisters.
Normally, breathing deep, staring off into to space, and zoning out to my latest never-illegally-downloaded-super-jammin' mix CD keeps me sane.
But today is different.
Today...
was maid day at my apartment.
That's right, maid day.
And for the past four weeks, my place had looked like a combo of the aftermath of the craziest rock concert known to man, and the remnants of laundry day gone very, very bad.
In my defense, I have a somewhat filthy roommate who regularly assembles a small army of friends who tend to leave pizza boxes and/or their pet dirt behind when they finally leave.
Day to day, these occurrences add up, and so does the mess.
Personally, I never notice the odor, but a few new guests have pointed out an arrant smell of aged cheese.
Sure I could clean up after them, but honestly, why should I?My rent includes once-a-month maid service! In my eyes, the maid will appreciate the challenge.
And when she's done, she'll leave with a sense of accomplishment; a feeling of really having done something good for herself and her community.
Plus, my mother always taught me that I should always clean up after myself, which in turn, by rule, makes it wrong to clean up after someone else...
Back in the car, the light is hanging on to the last leg of greenness and I JUST WANT TO GET HOME!!! The light turns red.
The longer I sit in this over-heating mass of engines, metal, and fumes, the more I fall deeper and deeper in love with my wonderful, large, fairly priced, apartment..
...
with maid service.
Finally, I pull through the pearly gates of my apartments.
I swear the place had never looked so beautiful.
I mean it's an incredible property, but I could almost hear the angels singing as I drove the posted 17 mph past the lush landscaping, sparkling pool, and beautiful courtyard.
After a day like mine, home will always be heaven.
I smile as I pull into my space.
I know from many of nights spent partying and walking that my front door is only 27 steps away and my couch is only 8 more.
I feel like I am almost effortlessly floating towards my door.
Home at last! Unlocking the door with my key, I turn the knob, and slowly open the door.
The door shuts behind me as my mouth drops from what I see.
"Dude, the maid didn't come.
Must be sick or something," my roommate muttered from the couch, sprawled out, half asleep, and watching soap operas on my 42" television.
Part of me wanted to scream, part of me wanted to pray, part of me wanted to strangle my roommate as the terrible feeling of a long crappy day replaced the heavenly feeling of coming home to a clean roommate free house.
But all I could do was stand there disappointed for a moment and reflect.
"You didn't call the office?," I quietly asked.
"Naw man, they don't like me up there.
I'm not on the lease.
Plus I'm not on the lease," he said as he scratched his backside.
"That's just wonderful.
" "I cleaned up a little, bro.
I took out the trash that was on the porch.
" Kicking a pizza box towards the couch, I made my way to my room with my head slowly shaking.
I calmly opened the door, stepped into my room, and shut the door behind me.
Suddenly, a smile crept up on my face as I remembered how clean and fresh my room was and completely isolated from Slobby McRoommate.
No trash, no dirt, clean sheets, and my older yet still a good size and in great working condition TV.
It's not a flat screen, but it will do.
The woes of my day began to disappear and the goodness made its way back in.
I plopped down on my futon, clutching a pillow in one hand and laying back.
A long sigh of relief overcame me.
As I stared at the spinning ceiling fan an even more wonderful thought hit me...
my lease was up and I could find my own place!