When I look back on being pregnant with my son, one of the things I regret most deeply is that, though I tried, I was not able to lessen the stress and anxiety I experienced.
During one of my first visits to a chiropractor after he was born, my chiropractor told me that she could tell from the testing she did that my stress had affected him.
I burst into tears! "During pregnancy you can pass on your own oversensitized stress response to your baby-and your baby becomes 'supersensitive' as a result...
Supersensitive babies are more easily stressed.
They react more intensely than other babies to noise, light, temperature fluctuations, hunger, thirst.
They're not simply more demanding, they also need a lot of love and care to keep them on an even keel and the balance can be a tricky one to maintain.
Parents of supersensitive babies have to work harder at soothing and calming...
" -Dr.
Miriam Stoppard, Bonding Before Birth Included in this quote is both the problem and the solution.
Babies in the womb become sensitized to your stress and negative feelings, and if they are exposed to enough stress, will be born highly sensitive, will experience stress more easily, and will be harder to soothe.
And if you are depressed, they will be more vulnerable to unhappiness from birth onward.
The solution depends on where you are in the parenting journey...
(1) If you are not pregnant yet, but are thinking about it, try to heal whatever might cause undue stress while you are carrying your baby.
(2) If you are pregnant now, ask for help and support, and develop a plan for managing stress and anxiety and experiment with stress relief strategies until you find one that works.
I'll be talking more about that in the posts to come.
(3) If you have a newborn who is a high needs baby, or seems harder to soothe, this may explain why and the solution is to work harder at it.
Be prepared to knock yourself out trying to fix it! So, if you can, get help from those who love you.
Talk to your partner or spouse about the fact that your baby is more sensitive and will need more, and ask for help with that.
Develop a plan, if possible.
Ask friends and family to be part of the solution, as well.
They can be your meals on wheels for a while longer than expected and can grab the broom and mop and vacuum cleaner when they drop by to see the little one.
(4) If your children are older, like mine, teach them stress management skills and model them yourself.
I will have more to say about this, too, in the next few posts.