Protestors Could Use Fresh Diapers - And A Spanking by Michael D.
Hume, M.
S.
Ready for the big holiday? Ready to observe the most solemn celebration in America, the one that observes the true need for "change?" I'm referring, of course, to "Diaper Need Awareness Month" currently being observed by our brethren and sistern in the fair state of Connecticut...
and, as humor icon Dave Barrius Magnus would say, I did not make that up.
They recently kicked off DNAM with a public panel in New Haven, where they discussed the "health risks to babies whose diapers are not changed frequently enough.
" Now, seriously, I used to have four babies myself (they all managed to grow up)...
and believe me, if anyone's aware of the need for a diaper change, it's a dad whose beloved little cherub hops into his lap smelling like a boot-camp latrine.
I recall thinking that my kids' mom must've had a tragic accident in early life that permanently impaired her olfactory, which is why it usually fell to me to make these meaningful changes in our house.
And to young parents out there, I'll say this: it is bad for the baby if you let her sit around in a stinky diaper.
If you SMELL the baby, CHANGE the baby.
But do we really need a month-long "awareness" month to help people understand the need to change the baby? Not really...
unless the real aim of the observation is to get more guv'mint welfare spending approved to pay for more disposable diapers.
Oh, wait...
that IS what they're after in The Nutmeg State.
They want an extra hundred bucks a month paid to parents to cover the cost of nappies.
It may shock my regular readers to know that I'm not generally in favor of entitlement spending...
but I'm not against this diaper thing.
After all, it's for the most vulnerable in our society: our children.
And it's not just for the children, it's for the most vulnerable of the children! So in Connecticut, whether you own a business, or work a job, or risk your capital to create jobs for others, crack that ol' wallet open a little wider! It's for the babies.
Babies are helpless little critters who need their forebears to take care of every aspect of their lives.
Mom and Dad need to feed the baby, clothe the baby, bathe the baby, shelter the baby, teach the baby, and save money so they can educate the baby and help the baby get a good start in life.
And regularly, when the baby (who can't do ANY of this for himself) gets stinky, he needs Mom and Dad to change his smelly pants.
So, parents, whether your kid is 26 weeks old and soiling his diaper, or 26 years old and too busy occupying a street somewhere to take care of his own hygiene, get in there and create a meaningful change! God can't be too thrilled when we let our kids stink to High Heaven.