Just as Asian food tastes better when eaten with chopsticks, so the food of India and South East Asia tastes better eaten with the fingers.
Rice or unleavened bread is most often served with spicy curries and other accompaniments.
And the only way to manage the flat breads is by tearing off pieces and using them to scoop up the curries.
Rice is usually served with spoon and fork, though the purists prefer to use the fingers of the right hand.
Here is a knack to it which may need a little practice for the novice.
More important than "how to" is "how much".
In other words, a good meal is mainly a matter of proportions, and this is where the inexperienced Westerner comes undone.
In western meals it is the meat, fish, or poultry which is the main item.
In Asian meals, rice or bread such as chapattis or rotis form the main part of the meal while the spicy curries and accompaniments are meant to be eaten in smaller quantities.
Certainly there should be three or four times as much rice as curry for the spiciness of curry is cushioned by the neutral rice and no discomfort is felt afterward.
If rice is relegated to a minor role the richness of the curries may prove too much for the average digestion.
All the food is brought to the table at once.
Rice should be served with a meat or poultry curry, with a fish or another seafood curry and with two or more vegetable curries.
On festive occasions beef, pork, chicken, prawns are served at the same meal, each one prepared in a different style.
Accompaniments are served in smaller quantities, and indeed, the more pungent and strongly flavored they are, the smaller the amount that should be placed on the table and the smaller the spoon should be to serve them.
Some very hot sambals we serve with a coffee spoon as an indication these are only the accents to the meal and should be approached with caution.
But if your guest are not accustomed to Asian food, don't rely on the subtle hint of small portions and spoons; come right out and warn them that such and such a dish is hot with chilies or they may find themselves in much discomfort.
Pappadams, the popular lentil wafers which are served with Indian or Sri Lankan meals, should always be placed on a separate small plate like a bread or butter plate.
Otherwise the steam from the hot food will cause their delightful crispness to diminish.
Etiquette (and commonsense) degree that rice is serve first in the middle of the plate.
Curries and accompaniments are placed around it in much smaller quantities.
The impression that rice and all the curries should be mixed together is quite wrong.
Each different accompaniment or curry should be tasted separately with a mouthful of rice or piece of chapatti.
What to drink with a curry meal? Cool water is ideal.
If you prefer an alcoholic beverage, please consider ice-cold beer or other light ale.
A beer shandy is particularly nice.
For wine drinkers, a light wine punch such as sangria is delicious or a very fruity white wine.
Avoid dry wines, particularly red wines.
Fine wines are lost when served with highly spiced food and dry wine does nothing to complement a good curry.
Or serve mango juice or rose-flavored syrup poured over crushed ice.
It is ideal for sipping with a curry meal.