OUCH! There are ways to handle a break up in a relationship that do not have to be this painful. Everyone handles this difficult time in there own way and im a believer in the...in takes as long as it takes philosophy.

Are there ways to handle a break up that does not leave a permanent scar and painful memories that haunt you for years to come? Here are 5 tips on coming through fairly scar free:

1. Handle the break up with class

If there is any chance of becoming friends, eventually or even coming through this difficult time with as few battle scars as possible, a little dignity will go a long way. When the pain subsides and it always does with time, you will feel much better for it I assure you. (although you may want to cause bodily harm at the time, I promise you a jail sentence is just not worth it)

2. Break up in person

There are many ways to say goodbye, text, email telephone and even asking a friend to pass on the message. Although these seem the easy option for you, this will leave the person receiving the message with a million questions and a deeper pain. If you felt a love for them at any time during your relationship, so them a favour and give them a chance to discuss it. The healing process will be much easier. (if of course there is a chance of the other person being violent ain any way then... maybe a phone call is advisable)

3. Avoid the blame game

It takes two to tango and in a relationship, what ever the out come, really is there any point in the he said she said game? I for one know that this is very difficult because you might want to be right but think of this...right or wrong the relationship is over and no amount of rights will bring back the relationships. Take the experience from this relationship into your next one and learn to not make the same mistakes again... that is all that we have. Each relationship that we go through in life teaches us something about what we want and of course also what we do not want in a future partner. What did you learn from your last relationship adventure?

4. keep the secrets and give your partner space and respect

To give yours self away to another can be a true joy. Without this sharing I do not believe that love has a chance to grow. There are secrets shared, secret moments photographed and promises of trust that are made. These are the signs of a love and intimacy. It goes without saying that this trust should not be broken. Just because the person is no longer with you and however the relationship ended, do the right thing, because it's the right thing to do. Remember if you betray some ones trust, everyone around you will know that you are untrustworthy and you would probably do the same to them. If in doubt show kindness and what goes around will come around 10 fold. Remember respect is earned and can not be demanded.

5. Allow yourself to grieve

Different people handle break ups in different ways. Don't allow someone to tell you how long you should grieve for. The important thing to remember is that the pain will get less and less wit time and to be kind to yourself. A break up is exactly like losing someone to death and there is a process that humans go through to deal with this process. If you can, try and get professional help. Bottling up your emotions will only make them resurface another time in another way, sometimes in a destructive way. I personally would highly recommend a Hypnotherapist or a trained in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) practitioner as they are trained to get to the crux of the pain quickly instead of the very painful drawn out process of other grief professionals.