Maybe, but maybe not. Yes, it will probably be hard and have side effects. But you might be surprised by some of the things people who have been through chemo would want you to keep in mind.
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1. “I don’t want to hear about your friend, sister, or dog walker’s chemo experience.”
“One of the biggest things patients complain about is how many people share cancer “horror stories” with them while they’re in the middle of treatment,” says Marisa C. Weiss, MD, author of Living Well Beyond Breast Cancer.
“The individual telling the story may mean well, but usually they’re not thinking before they speak,” says Weiss, president and founder of BreastCancer.org. “The last thing someone going through chemo wants to hear is about how treatment went poorly for someone else.”
Her advice: The minute someone begins sharing, hold a hand up and say, “Thank you for caring, but I don’t want to hear stories about other people right now.”
2. “The most helpful information didn’t come from my oncologist.”
“Yes, doctors are really important. But when I hear that a friend or family member is going through cancer treatment, I tell them to talk to the nurses,” says Dana Kuznetzkoff, a New York film and TV producer who was treated for lymphoma in 2010. “They’re the ones who will tell you exactly what you need to know, like your hair will fall out on the second day of treatment, or expect to be really tired the day afterchemo.”
She has a simple suggestion. “Listen to other people who’ve been there or who are involved in your care, too. I got good tips from my wigmaker and other women who’d been through cancer treatment.”
3. “It’s not just about nausea and hair loss.”
When Paulette Sherman was treated for breast cancer several years ago, “I was shocked when my toenails fell off,” says Sherman, a psychologist and author living in Brooklyn, NY. “I knew my hair would fall out, but didn’t remember [my doctor] telling me about the nails. It was a little upsetting at first, because it was one more way chemo was affecting my body.”
There are many types of chemotherapy. The side effects you have depend on what kind of chemo you get and how your body reacts to it. Hair loss and nausea are common, but they don’t happen to everyone. It’s also common to have other side effects that people don’t talk about as much, such as trouble with memory and concentration, feeling dizzy, or having pain and numbness during or after chemo.