Learning or adapting to a new language is one of the biggest hurdles that accompany a move to a new country.
Whether or not you're good at learning foreign languages, it's a necessary step to take in order to really assimilate someplace else.
You truly cannot understand cultural nuances or really get to know someone at a deep level unless you make the effort to learn the local language.
I've had so much success making new friends in other countries, just by learning their language.
Because of this, I've made it a point to ensure I can at least say "Do you speak English" in any country I travel to.
The first time I went to France, at the age of sixteen, though I had several years of French under my belt, I couldn't quite put it together, and was terrified of saying something stupid.
I ended up living with a large French host family, in Normandie, France.
They spoke very quickly, and laughed a lot.
At dinner, watching them look at me and laugh, I got more and more upset, thinking they were making fun of me.
I had to stare at the ceiling most evenings to keep from crying at the table.
I was frustrated at not having enough vocabulary to say basic things, and resorting to phrases like, "Where do I get the thing you sit on?" for the word chair, and relying on hand and body gestures to ask if I could phone home.
The more I tried to follow a conversation in French, the more my head hurt.
I felt stupid when one of my host sisters, or my host mother, would repeat the same phrase four or five times because I just didn't get it.
One night, I ended up in the family car with my host sisters Marguerite-Marie, and Marie-Christelle, and their cousin Stephane.
We went to a pub in Bayeux, sixteen kilometers from their house.
I had my first "vodka-orange" (screwdriver) and something remarkable happened.
I completely let go of my fear of making mistakes in French.
In fact, they couldn't shut me up.
Back in the car, I gobbled through an entire box of Vache Qui Rit (Laughing Cow) cheese, which they still tease me about, over 20 years later! When we arrived home, I was full of things to say in French and danced around the dining area joking that I was pregnant, using the French word referring to ANIMALS who are pregnant, and found that the more I spoke and made mistakes, the more laughter ensued.
The more they laughed, the more I felt like talking.
I ended up waking up my host mom, who joined in the now hysterical laughter as I combined words, and actions into a one-woman show, and was dubbed, "La Petite Comedienne" (the little comedienne.
) From that night onwards, I never, ever again hesitated to make mistakes in a foreign language.
Here's what the experience taught me: The person that is most offended about foreign language mistakes is you.
It is unbelievable how appreciative locals are when you try to speak their language, instead of presuming that they can speak English.
It creates instant respect, and a lot more willingness to get their help.
Making mistakes in a foreign language is the best way to learn it.
The most memorable language blunders I've made left me with vocabulary that I will NEVER forget.
Any time I have a momentary lapse, I can think back to the moment I made the mistake, and the word comes right back to me! Laughter is universal and a bonding experience.
If people laugh because you made a mistake, it's usually because you have endeared yourself to them.
Laughter is a wonderful way to bond with people.
In fact, just this year, I was in Paris and, admiring the haircut of a man's cocker-spaniel, I said to him, "I love how your dog's hair is cut!" Only, in French, human hair, and dog hair, are two different words.
I used the one for human hair.
What ensued was laughter, some jokes, and a lively discussion about dogs that never would have occurred if I hadn't made that mistake.
Language errors are opportunities! First, you might get someone who will offer you the correct word, or pronunciation, so it's a learning opportunity.
Second, you can enter into a whole discussion - surrounding language, or the topic you're talking about.
Third, the nicest of people, once they realize you're not native, may want to help you either with language, or tips about the city - it's a great way to meet helpful people.
So, next time you're worried about making a mistake in a foreign language, let go of the need for perfection, and dare to communicate anyway.
For helpful tips on learning a foreign language, and more information about successfully transitioning to a new culture, download my "8 Steps to Feel at Home Anywhere in the World" eCourse.