Any well run organization has meetings to assure that all players are on the same page.
Think of your family as an organization, and for it to operate smoothly there must be open lines of communication, a sense of commitment, and feelings of appreciation.
Family meetings provide this direction and opportunity.
Family meetings are most effective if held on a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly basis and are regularly scheduled.
Family meetings allow parents and children a time to voice concerns in a safe atmosphere.
During family meetings it is important to avoid judgmental or critical behaviors and comments.
It is a time to stress the importance of honesty, the need to listen carefully, and to be respectful even in difficult times.
Family meetings will instill in children a commitment to doing the best for the family as a whole.
It is a time when the family can look at the calendar and understand everyone's obligations and determine the best way to satisfy these obligations.
It is a good time to strengthen family commitment by scheduling family time such as a hike, skiing trip, or even a game night.
Another great way to strengthen family ties is for each parent to schedule one on one time with their child.
One needs to consider the number of children and scheduling conflicts to determine how to best make this happen.
Through family meetings children can come to understand that their commitment to family comes first and difficult times do not destroy relationships, sometimes sacrifices need to be made, priorities determined, goals shared and traditions established.
A sense of appreciation and value can be fostered in family meetings by creating a warm and supportive environment.
Look for positives instead of negatives.
Learn how to give and receive compliments gracefully.
Compliment time can be a regularly scheduled part of family meetings.
Each family member can give a compliment to all other family members or names can be drawn.
A young child may start out with an "I love you.
" compliment.
As children mature and come to understand what compliments are they will be able to come up with something positive for every family member.
This will teach everyone to recognize the positive even when they are angry with someone or are in a challenging situation.
Family meetings are best if approached with a positive attitude and the understanding that meetings are of a limited time.
Expect a period of trial and error in determining what works best for your family.
Consider opening your meeting with COMPLIMENTS.
This will start things out on a positive note.
Another component of the family meeting is the review of individual GOALS, each person is responsible for determining their own goal(s) for the next week.
Children will be more invested in achieving goals that they determine, rather than parent organized tasks.
Would you want your children to determine your goals for the week? WELL DONE is another category that allows each family member to identify something that they are proud of, whether it is an accomplishment or something they tried their best at.
Addressing any AGENDA ITEMS is a great opportunity for family members to voice any concerns, constructive criticisms, or things that they would like to see done differently.
This is a great opportunity for the family to work together at problem solving.
At times an agenda item might be a particular behavior demonstrated by one of your children.
This open conversation brings behaviors to the child's attention in a non-threatening way, and can allow each child to work with you on how to most effectively change behavior.
Family meetings can end with looking at the calendar and reviewing everyone's obligations and activities.
This will help to minimize family stress during the week.
A planned review allows everyone to know what nights and days are busy, to resolve transportation problems, and address scheduling conflicts.
Family meetings are best if kept to a half hour to 45 minutes, depending on the ages of the children involved.
Remember to keep it moving, keep it positive, and a snack during the meeting can be a great way to nurture the family.