There are unspoken rules that apply to wedding speeches. For instance, the father of the bride gives the first speech. When he wraps up, if there is no master of ceremonies, he will pass the honor to the groom's father. The Groom is next and sometime during the course of his speech, he can take the opportunity to give the groomsmen gifts, the best man's gift, the bridesmaid gifts, and the maid of honor gifts when he thanks them in his speech. This is not necessary but it can be done, as this is a great opportunity for it. Lastly, he hands the speech responsibility to the best man who wraps it up and so goes the order of speeches at most weddings. This is a tradition that does not have to be followed if circumstances prevent it and everyone agrees upon a different order.
The most important thing to remember when giving a wedding speech is sobriety. Weddings are an acceptable occasion to drink socially and have a great time but if you do not typically hold alcohol very well, you should abstain from drinking at least until after your duties in the wedding have been met, including the speech. It is considered very poor form to slur your words and to say something that can be construed as completely or even slightly inappropriate. The more inebriated you appear to be, the more scrutiny will be placed on your every word.
Be prepared. It is also considered bad form to be unprepared when you give your speech, even if you are a great public speaker or the funniest person in the room. Always prepare your speech in writing and memorize it or the majority of it. If you know your highlights, it is okay to wing it but you must at least know your main points to do this. If for some reason you could not write your speech in advance, never admit that you are unprepared. Even the mention that you did not prepare your speech in advance is an insult to the bride, groom, and everyone who did prepare a speech. It is simply bad form.
Practice your speech. The engagement dinner is a good place to practice speaking in public. This will help you to overcome any jitters or nervousness you may have about speaking before an audience. The rehearsal dinner is the perfect opportunity to present a short version of the speech you intend to give at the wedding. You can gauge what reaction your speech will have and make any necessary modification the night before the wedding. It is always a good idea to practice the entire speech with someone who is objective before the wedding. It is even better if this is someone whom you trust to give you an honest opinion and who does not know the bride and groom.
Keep it short. Anything over a few minutes long will run the risk of losing the wedding guests interest and become boring. Remember to stick to the highlights of your speech and limit any stories to one about the bride if you know her well enough and one about the groom. Always make the speech flattering to the people you speak about and never say anything that could be hurtful or taken in the wrong way. Never bring up a past love or relationship and never tell any secret that may not have been revealed. Stay on topic and talk about the future to stay out of trouble.
If there is no master of ceremonies, you will need to pass your speech off to the next person. Do this in a way that is flattering and draws interest to the person without putting them on the spot. Following these simple guidelines should help to make the speech process a success and ensure that you get though it looking good and sounding better.